I ran across this entry about drama in the Second Life Wiki:
A way of relating to the world in which a person consistently overreacts to or greatly exaggerates the importance of benign events in Second Life.
Typically, drama is created and perpetuated by people who are chronically bored.
People who engage in drama will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting.
As I’ve said elsewhere, we get an avatar, anonymity, and essentially a new identity but we remain irrevocably our RL mind. We may role play, a vampire, a Neko, a furry, or a character with an extensive backstory, but our persona is still the RL person pulling the strings from behind the curtain, with all their likes, dislikes, and foibles.
From my experience, I have a theory about happy and unhappy.
Happy people are kind, generous, and sympathetic if not empathetic.
Unhappy people are mean, cruel, and always find fault with others, never with themselves.
There are a number of unhappy people in both worlds, SL and RL. We jokingly say that somebody is having a bad day, but I’ve heard stories about people that lead me to conclude they’re having a bad life.
Bumping
I’ve been in SL, off and on, for eleven years. In writing this posting, I remembered two incidents which, thankfully, have never been repeated.
The first time, I was at one of the landing sites devoted to new people, information kiosks, links to resources, and assistants to provide one-on-one help.
I had wandered into a park area when somebody bumped into me. I excused myself and moved aside. The person bumped me again. I said sorry and moved away. The person followed me and bumped me. By now, I had clued in that something strange was going on. As I moved about, this person followed me and kept knocking into me. Repeated IMs were met with silence. Finally, I TPed elsewhere.
The second time, I was sitting in a cinema with a female friend. A guy stood in front of us, blocking the screen. I IMed him, explaining the situation. He didn’t move and didn’t say anything.
We got up and changed seats. The guy followed us and once again blocked the screen. I IMd him again but no response. My friend derezzed the man while I contacted the owner of the cinema who just happened to be online. I described the situation and gave him the name of the man. In the space of thirty seconds, our ne’ er-do-well was banned by the owner and kicked out of the SIM.
I’ve reflected on these events, wondering about the motivation of the individuals. I can see some validity to the idea expressed above that the people were bored. I think of myself as just a normal, average guy, polite, respectful, and friendly, somebody you may meet in the checkout line of your neighbourhood grocery store. Why pick on me?
But all of us have our quirks, some more than others, and some of those quirks may border on the line with the socially unacceptable. Border? I jokingly say that somebody has stepped over the line, drawn a new line, and then stepped over it!
Therapy
I like to read profiles. Some are blank; some are interesting; and some are — not to mince words — disturbing. Yes, disturbing! I can’t help feeling that the person in question should be spending less time on SL and more time on a therapist’s couch. Is this individual going to end up being an RL headline after having gone berserk at a shopping mall?
You view somebody’s thoughts in black and white; you read text, just text. No intonation of vocal tone. No facial expressions. Did the person properly express their meaning by choosing the right words and phrases? Did I properly interpret those words? A lot is up for misinterpretation. Anger? Sarcasm?
To make up for this potential for misunderstanding, I’ve said that I need to err on the side of caution and “over-explain” myself. In the IM chat window, if I preface text with “/me”, the subsequent words are italicized, which can be interpreted as action or thoughts.
I write in IM chat: /me wonders what to do.
Person sees: Hugh Toussaint wonders what to do.
If I’m trying to be funny, I can add “Ha, ha, ha!” or type an action “/me chuckles”. If I’m sarcastic, sad, or angry, I can do likewise. Sidebar: I’m never angry. I may feign anger sometimes as a joke, but I don’t think I’ve ever been truly angry on SL. Life is too short.
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Attributed to Robert McCloskey, U.S. State Department spokesman, by Marvin Kalb, CBS reporter, in TV Guide, 31 March 1984, citing an unspecified press briefing during the Vietnam war. (Quotes, Your Dictionary)
Banning or blocking
I don't think I've ever banned or blocked anybody. I approach people with politeness and respect. Sometimes, it's obvious we're not hitting off, so I politely move on, but I see no reason to escalate things to an all-out fight.
Many, many years ago, I made an interesting personal discovery. I made note that I didn't like everybody I met. The majority of people were just your average person but some I found uninteresting, some were boring, and once in a blue moon, I found them actually repulsive. Ugh! Get me out of here!
But the revelation for me was in realising that one hundred per cent of the people didn't like me. Yes, if statistically, I didn't like everybody I met, statistically, not everybody I met liked me. Of course, I humorously assuaged my ego by saying I was an acquired taste or that an unsophisticated palette did not appreciate me as the fine wine I am, but I took it in stride and moved on. It's not the end of the world. Statistically speaking, there are still a heck of a lot of people in the world with whom I may very well hit it off! Why worry about the ones who don't work out?
I've heard there are 800,000 active monthly users in Second Life. If I don't hit it off with someone, I shake my fist at the sky and curse, "Oh, shoot! I only have 799,999 people to talk to!" Ha, ha!
RL Mindset
SL is a virtual world in which we can all conduct ourselves in a manner quite different from Real Life. However, it seems that some people bring quite a bit of their RL into SL: marriage, monogamy, dishonesty, lying, cheating, etc. As opposed to being open and honest, people continue to live as how they live in RL: afraid of criticism and condemnation. It's curious to see that what goes wrong in SL is representative of what's wrong in RL.
"If You Tell the Truth, You Don’t Have to Remember Anything."
-Unknown (misattributed to Mark Twain)
Personally, I'm open and honest. Why not? If you can't be truthful in a virtual world where you're protected by anonymity and have no reason to lie, where can you be truthful? What do I gain by not telling the truth? I've had to chuckle when I've met somebody in the most, ahem, scandalous of sex SIMs only to have them tell me they were only exploring. I've noted that we come to SL to explore this virtual world but then end up exploring ourselves. While it's difficult to be honest with other people, it's also difficult to be honest with ourselves. [me jokingly feigning shock] "You like to do what???" Ha, ha, ha!
Final Word
I come to SL to have fun. I hope that everyone with whom I interact also has fun.
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
-Ernestine Ulmer (1892-1987), American author.
If I don't "click" with someone, I politely move on. At the end of the day, I hope everyone ends up in a good place with good people. I like to think of myself as basically a happy person so I'm not going to dwell on the bad.
All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL * RL). :-)
References
Second Life Wiki: Drama
Does Second Life Have Way More Player Drama Than Traditional MMOs?
- New World Notes, Aug 10,2020 Bugs in Second Life may be less annoying than they are in structured, standard MMOs like Elder Scrolls Online, but here's something that does bug some SLers -- the open-ended virtual world seems to have way more player-to-player drama.
What Is It About Second Life and Other Virtual Worlds That Incites So Much Drama?
- Ryan Schultz, Aug 17, 2018 Following the many online communities that have sprung up around various virtual worlds over the past decade (especially Second Life), I often find myself wondering about what it is about them that seems to bring out such a high level of conflict and drama.
Wikipedia: Sock and buskin
The sock and buskin are two ancient symbols of comedy and tragedy. In ancient Greek theatre, actors in tragic roles wore a boot called a buskin (Latin cothurnus). The actors with comedic roles wore only a thin-soled shoe called a sock (Latin soccus).
Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, is often depicted holding the tragic mask and wearing buskins. Thalia, the muse of comedy, is similarly associated with the mask of comedy and comic's socks. Some people refer to the masks themselves as "Sock and Buskin."
2021-06-27
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