Breasts: Why are we so fascinated, if not obsessed?

Breasts, tits, jugs, fun bags, the female mammary glands just don't fascinate and titillate the male animal but seem to be a fundamental cornerstone of our society for men, women, and children as both a maternal and sexual symbol of femininity. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. But being curious, I wondered what science had to say about our collective obsession. Does a fish know it's living in a fishbowl? Can we step outside of ourselves and look at our culture in a more objective slash scientific fashion without necessarily being influenced by said culture? In researching this article, I've consulted a number of sources, links in the references section below. It would seem science is of the opinion our connection to breasts starts as babies, the source of our nourishment. Along with that, both baby and mother share the release of ocytocin, the "bonding" hormone.

As oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building, it's sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical.” Oxytocin levels also increase when you're hugging someone and when you're experiencing an orgasm. Oxytocin is an essential hormone for childbirth and lactation.
-Oxytocin: What It Is, Function & Effects - Cleveland Clinic

Other researchers echo that idea.

Larry Young and Brian Alexander are two men who have recently released a book entitled The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex and the Science of Attraction. In this book the two men have intricately dissected all the emotional, biological and cultural elements behind the real reason men are so attracted to our boobs.

The authors firmly believe that straight men are obsessed by women’s boobs simply because of a hormone released during nursing, which helps to make that powerful bond between mother and child. They believe that men who were breastfed as children then grow up with an evolutionary drive for a strong nurturing bond with their female partners.
-Her Magazine: Why Are Men so Obsessed With Boobs? The Answer is Pretty Surprising… - Jun 21/2023

Wait! You're telling me I'm not a pervert? There's a legitimate scientific reason why I stare and drool?

I have to chuckle. In our culture, our gender roles, whether we agree with them or not, seem to be that the male is assertivem and the female is receptive: he steps forward and says hello; he's the one who calls the girl; he asks her to dance. Her option is to say yes or no to his advances. Yes, in modern times, the woman can be assertive but I'm talking about in general. And SL is merely a reflection of RL, albeit Second Life can be an exaggeration of real life. (Second Life Magnifies Real Life)

It's not a leer if the woman is interested.

The above amusing adage points out a conundrum we all must face dealing with the sometimes-conflicting circumstances of our desires and our mores. Science seems to indicate that as a man, I'm "hardwired" to be attracted to breasts and yet, our society dictates I must rein in my attraction to a respectable degree. In a 1993 episode of the TV comedy series Seinfeld (link below), the character George Constanza gets into trouble for staring at a woman's cleavage. Jerry explains, "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away."

But if the woman is interested
MM is a female friend in SL I've know for over 14 years. We've tried about everything together. We have a running gag together, a role play. She plays the part of the sexy siren, and I'm the enamored male, smitten by her beauty. I stare; I drool; I put one hand to my chest and say, "Be still my beating heart." She sends me photos of her flashing me, and I message back how I was looking at this on my phone (in RL) and walked into a lamppost. All in good fun. I think she enjoys being a woman, and she enjoys my attentions as I am trying in a lecherous but humorous manner to make her feel special as a woman. As I like to say: We all want to be "desired".

In MM's profile, she amusingly states, "I have the pussy; I make the rules." Let me add that she also has the tits. Ha, ha!

Ecdysiast, er, Stripper
Do larger breasts lead to more money? One would say yes, however my research has come up with conflicting reports. Some say it helps them attract male patrons, but others say its their ability to engage the customer which leads to high returns. I'm reminded of a joke I like to tell, describing women as a gift: The packaging may catch my eye, but it's the contents which keep me coming back for more.

An Observation about Second Life
I play SL as an extension of my RL. I'm not a vampire or a Neko or some fantasy character; I'm really playing myself. Obviously, without the usual RL constraints, but just a polite and respectful guy normally dressed in a suit and tie. Many, maybe the majority, do the same thing, but I recognize that some play an exaggerated version of their RL self, even a cartoon version of their own fantasy character. As such, some avatars are unrealistically disproportionate. I mean like big breasts. Hugh breasts. Breasts so large, they look like somebody has attached beach balls to their chest. Is this attractive? Is it a turn-on? Is it satisfying some sort of fetish? Of course, I can't help feeling this is more of a male fantasy, and the avatar in question has a high probability of being a GIRL (Guy In Real Life). (my blog: Why do guys role play girls? (2,500 words, 12-minute read) - Jul 15/2022)

An Observation about Real Life
As a man, for my entire life, I have been caught between a rock and a hard place. Look, but don't stare. But on more than one occasion, I've asked myself what the woman is trying to do. I worked in an office environment for a number of years where the dress code was business, sometimes business casual. Once in a while, one woman I knew would come in with a blouse or sweater with a lower cut, showing off her V, that is, her cleavage. I confess, one time I glanced for just a second too long and realized, she was pulling a sweater over her shoulders to cover herself. My bad. But why was she wearing something which could be construed as "sexually appealing"? Was she doing this for her husband? Did it make her feel good about herself? I still questioned in an official business setting if this was appropriate. People in an office are supposed to work together, not flirt with one another. Now, I can hear people complaining about me being a perv in this scenario but is there a line between dressing in a reasonable manner, even attractive, but then crossing the line into sexy?

I go to a gym on a regular basis. The majority of people dress for working out; they are not making a fashion statement. Many wear tops like t-shirts; I always wear a polo shirt. However, some women wear a top with a bare midriff; some are skimpier like a bikini top. I'm sure somebody's going to feel I'm being sexist or demonstrating The Double Standard, but I'm asking what the objective is in wearing something less about the practicality of exercising and more about being fashionable. But I have a male example.

Several years ago, there was a guy who was obviously gay, effeminate in his mannerisms. He would wear a top with a bare midriff with shorts which were more short shorts. He displayed a lot of skin. At times, he seemed to "prancing and preening": exaggerated movements, rolling up the edge of his shorts to make them even shorter. I had the distinct impression he was showing off as if he was trying to make himself attractive to others. I found this behavior oddly out of place. We were all there to work out, not flirt with one another.

Random question: Is the female breast, like the male breast, nothing more than a breast?
There are women movements seeking equality between the sexes.

Free the Nipple is a topfreedom campaign created in 2012 during pre-production of a 2014 film of the same name. The campaign highlights the general convention of allowing men to appear topless in public while considering it sexual or indecent for women to do the same and asserts that this difference is discriminatory, contravening women's rights. The campaign argues that it should be legally and culturally acceptable for women to bare their nipples in public.
-Wikipedia: Free the nipple

Topfreedom is a cultural and political movement seeking changes in laws to allow women to be topless in public places where men are permitted to be barechested, as a form of gender equality. Specifically, the movement seeks the repeal or overturning of laws which restrict a woman's right not to have her chest covered at all times in public. In addition, topfreedom advocates seek allowing nursing mothers to openly breastfeed in public.
-Wikipedia: Topfreedom

Sexual Identity
I'm sure every woman is well acquainted with guys and their, ahem, dicks.

Body Image: Many women regard their breasts as important to their sexual attractiveness, as a sign of femininity that is important to their sense of self. A woman with smaller breasts may regard her breasts as less attractive.
-Wikipedia: Breast

As a man, I can speak about male confidence: Am I large enough? Can I get erect? Can I sustain an erection? Heck, can I even get aroused and cum? Of course, later on in life, there's a strong probability some of us are going to face the inevitable: erectile dysfunction and/or sexual dysfunction. Am I still a man if I can't get it up?

I've wondered: Are female breasts the counterpart to the male organ as a fundamental part of our sexual identity? I suspect the answer may be yes to varying degrees. My research shows that more than 100,000 U.S. women undergo some form of mastectomy each year, typically to treat breast cancer, but also to prevent the risk of breast cancer, and that more than 73% of breast cancer survivors are at risk of experiencing sexual problems known as sexual dysfunction.

I started this article to look at the amusing tendency of men to be attracted to / fascinated by / obsessed with breasts. But for the woman, there can be a serious side to the story.

Interesting / Amusing facts about breasts

• Motorboating: It means the activity of putting one's face between a woman's breasts, and rocking turning one's head rapidly from side to side while making a noise like a motorboat. -Urban Dictionary
  FYI: I first time I heard this term, I laughed out loud. Who the dickens makes this stuff up?
• Male or female, we all start with the same building blocks.
  All human individuals—whether they have an XX, an XY, or an atypical sex chromosome combination—begin development from the same starting point. During early development the gonads of the fetus remain undifferentiated; that is, all fetal genitalia are the same and are phenotypically female. After approximately 6 to 7 weeks of gestation, however, the expression of a gene on the Y chromosome induces changes that result in the development of the testes. -Sex Begins in the Womb: National Center for Biotechnology Information
• It is estimated that 1% of adult women (one to two million) in the U.S. have had breast augmentation. -National Center for Biotechnology Information, 2010 Winter
• World's Largest Natural Breasts: 102 ZZZ
  Annie Hawkins-Turner, better known by the stage name Norma Stitz, is an American fetish model. Her pseudonym is a wordplay on "enormous tits", a result of gigantomastia. She holds the Guinness World Record for largest natural breasts. -Wikipedia - CNN reports her breasts weigh 89 pounds.

Final Word
There is a biological basis for our interest in mammary glands. However, that can't be an excuse; we must still follow the norms of respectable society. You can peek at the sun, but you shouldn't stare at it.

I end with an amusing t-shirt. Ignore the sexual and look only at the maternal, and there is something comforting about boobs. They can make all of us, man, woman, or child, feel a little calmer, and a little more centered.

References

Wikipedia: Breast
Humans are the only mammals whose breasts become permanently enlarged after sexual maturity (known in humans as puberty). The reason for this evolutionary change is unknown. Several hypotheses have been put forward.

Live Science: New Theory on Why Men Love Breasts - Mar 17/2016
Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women's chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men's curious breast fixation, but theorists are gonna theorize. So let's take a tour of the sexy speculation surrounding the human bosom — with a few stops to explain why it's so hard to figure out just why breasts hold such allure.

Her Magazine: Why Are Men so Obsessed With Boobs? The Answer is Pretty Surprising… - Jun 21/2023
A new book written by two men seeks to answer and explain the age old question: why are men so obsessed with boobs?

The Huffington Post: Breasts: The Real Reason Men Love Them - Sep 25/2012
By Larry Young, Ph.D., Contributor and Brian Alexander, Contributor Jokes about breasts, and men looking at breasts, are such a comedy staple they've become a kind of go-to cliché. How many times have we seen a man talking to a curvaceous woman only to have her point to her own eyes and say "Hey, buddy, up here!"?

It's funny -- or, at least, it was funny the first dozen times we saw it -- because it's true. The male eye does have a way of drifting south. But why? Why are heterosexual men so fascinated by women's breasts that we sometimes act as if the breasts are the seat of the soul?

World Wide Words: Ecdysiast
A writer for the Washington Post in August 2011 had it spot on: “ecdysiast is a fancy word for stripper”. It was coined in 1940 and has had only sporadic success, perhaps being thought too odd-looking a word or too high-falutin for so earthy a pursuit... [It was] created by H L Mencken, the American critic and author of The American Language from Ecdysis, taken from the Greek ekdusis, shedding or moulting.

Published May 21/2013 by TEDx Talks
YouTube: The Chemistry Between Us: Larry Young at TEDxEmory (18:06)

Wikipedia: The Chemistry Between Us (book)
The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction is a 2012 book by the American neuroscientist Larry J. Young and the journalist Brian Alexander, in which the authors examine the neurobiological roots of love.

Published Jan 2/2017 by UberDurable
YouTube: Seinfeld - Cleavage Etiquette (with Denise Richards) (1:43)

Wikipedia: The Shoes (Seinfeld)
"The Shoes" is the 56th episode of the NBC television sitcom Seinfeld. It is the 16th episode for the fourth season, and first aired on February 4, 1993. In the episode, Elaine is upset at Jerry and George dropping her character from their proposed Jerry series, which then becomes endangered when George is caught staring at the cleavage of NBC executive Russell Dalrymple's teenage daughter.

2024-08-31