Second Life Profiles

I've read a lot of profiles. I mean hundreds of profiles. Some are good. Some are bad. After reading so many, I see themes, commonalities representing the SL experience.

Some leave their profiles blank, missing out on this wonderful opportunity to make first impression. Our profile is our calling card. It is a chance to explain who we are and what we're looking for in (second) life.

I don't have time to chat with everyone and have come to use profiles to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. I'm sure there are nice people out there with a blank profile, but I'm trying to reduce the time I waste while online. I don't "click" with everybody. On the other hand, everybody doesn't "click" with me. Statistically, it's a forgone conclusion we are not going to hit it off with everyone we meet so using a profile to filter out potentially bad matches, we can hopefully reduce the time we waste online.

As such, in any meeting area, I always start with reading profiles. If a profile is blank, I discard it and move on to the next person. What the person has written in their biography makes me decide to discard it or look further.

Picks allow someone to further write about themselves. Oddly enough,  I find some Picks are merely a collection of locations like Stores, with the description of the store. The person has not best exploited their picks as a means of communication. Unless the biography is exceptional, I discard the profile and move on to the next person.

Going through the list of Groups can further describe who a person is and what they're looking for. Some, of course, like me, hide their groups. Why do I hide my groups? My online persona is a gentleman. Consequently, I show groups that support that idea. I also jokingly tell people that I hide the more scandalous of my groups because I hate meeting people, have them open my profile, and then go running from the room screaming. Ha, ha! But on a more serious note, I like to reveal the more, ahem, scandalous part of my personality at the right time and the right place. In referring to that number one complaint I've seen in profiles about men broaching the topic of sex at first meeting, I like to meet people, chat, and find out who they are, and then explore more intimate options if we "click".

Common Themes
The tone of some profiles is negative. The person has had bad experiences in Second Life, and their profile reflects self-defence. Bad experiences are unfortunate, but we must remain upbeat. I've seen people actually say something to the effect that if you ask about R.L., I'll tell you to F.O. Okay, I get it. Some people are inquisitive and bothersome about it. But I can't help feeling that it is better to deal with issues with humour rather than anger. Let me give you an example.

In reading profiles, I'd say the number one complaint people have is about men running around with their dick out, asking every woman "Wanna f*ck?" Okay, that could be annoying. Ha! But here's my joke for all the ladies. If a guy asks you "Wanna f*ck?", you reply, "Yes. Just not with you." Humour can be more disarming than anger. I'm sure that will send the horny little boy home with his tail between his legs, so to speak. :-)

Inquiries about RL
Hey, people are curious! Guys tend to be leery of women, wondering if there's a man behind the scenes driving the avatar. I'm afraid homophobia is far more prevalent in our society than we care to admit. I was amused how one woman pointed out that you see women advertising they're voice-verified, but you don't see men advertising voice-verified. Ha!

I compliment some people in handling this issue with aplomb and diplomacy. Rather than threatening blocking or muting or telling the person to F.O., some say quite simply, "My RL is fine. I'm here for the fantasy." I enjoy some people using their RL to up the fantasy tease by saying something like "More than you can possibly handle." Ha, ha! That's great!

Final Word
A profile is our calling card. Who are you? What do you want? But most importantly, why should I stop to talk to you? Yes, I'm sure you're a nice person and an interesting personality but could you make the effort to give me a clue that you are any of those things? I appreciate a good read, and I appreciate your time and effort. 

References

my blog: Anonymity and Total Freedom

my blog: I Never Touch You

my blog: Mind F*cking

2021-02-10

Second Life is a "literary" environment

While SL is many things — a 3D modeling platform, social media (Facebook on steroids as I like to say), a tool for creativity — I note that with profiles and IM chat, it is also a "literary" environment. While we can voice, most, if not all, of our communication is done via text. We write. We read. With the help of others, we are composing an interactive story. I could say that everyone in Second Life is, in one way or another, a writer.

I jokingly say that in SL, a man's prowess as a lover is judged not by the size of his manhood but by the size of his vocabulary.

In SL, we never touch. We only communicate. Consequently, how we communicate, how we write, is of the utmost importance. Not everyone knows how to write. Not everyone knows how to communicate. While SL is different from RL, it is in many ways similar. I like to point out that despite our avatar, despite our new identity, and despite anonymity, we remain irrevocably our RL mind. I've said elsewhere that anonymity is a gift that allows us to say or do anything we what without fear of criticism or condemnation. What do we do with the gift of "total freedom"? If someone is kind in SL; they're probably kind in RL. If someone is a jerk in SL; they're probably a jerk in RL.

The old joke is that the brain is our biggest sex organ. Stimulate it, and everything else falls into place. In my blog I Never Touch You, I describe a hypothetical scenario in real life where I set up two chairs back to back. I have you and your lover sit down. You can talk to one another and listen to one another, but you can't see each other or touch. In other words, you can only communicate. Can you chat, share, laugh, and cry? Can you make a connection? And finally, could you make love? Could you have sex? How truly open and honest are you willing to be? Can you be truly naked in front of another person, I don’t just mean physically, but intimately as in revealing your true self?

Welcome to Second Life, the new you, the fantasy you. You can be anything you want, both literally and literarily.

References

my blog: Anonymity and Total Freedom

my blog: I Never Touch You

my blog: Mind F*cking

2021-02-02