To Be Desired

To be desired is perhaps the closest anybody in this life can reach to feeling immortal.

Wikipedia: John Berger
John Peter Berger (1926–2017) was an English art critic, novelist, painter and poet. His novel G. won the 1972 Booker Prize, and his essay on art criticism Ways of Seeing, written as an accompaniment to the BBC series of the same name, is often used as a university text. He lived in France for over fifty years.


I've noted the following about desire:

We want our co-workers to admire us and our boss to respect us. We want our friends to like us and our family to love us. But there is something special, truly special about being desired.

Passion puts a smile on our face and a spring in our step. The day is a little sunnier, and the sky is a little bluer. It reminds us that we are alive.


References

my blog: Erotic Love
"Erotic love is one of the highest forms of contemplation." -Kenneth Rexroth (1905–1982), American poet, translator and critical essayist

my blog: Erotic Thoughts
We all have 'em: picture gallery.

my blog: Sayings
Succinctly put.

2022-06-26

Sometimes, my desire for you overwhelms me.

Game On by Jack Vettriano (b 1951), Scottish painter

Wikipedia: Jack Vettriano
Jack Vettriano, OBE (born Jack Hoggan, 17 November 1951), is a Scottish painter. His 1992 painting The Singing Butler became a best-selling image in Britain.

Criticism
According to The Daily Telegraph he has been described as the Jeffrey Archer of the art world, a purveyor of "badly conceived soft porn", and a painter of "dim erotica". According to Vanity Fair, critics say Jack Vettriano paints brainless erotica. Sandy Moffat, head of drawing and painting at Glasgow School of Art, said: "He can’t paint, he just colours in." The Guardian's art critic Jonathan Jones, described Vettriano’s paintings as a group as "brainless" and said Vettriano "is not even an artist." Richard Calvocoressi, when director of the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, said: "I’d be more than happy to say that we think him an indifferent painter and that he is very low down our list of priorities (whether or not we can afford his work, which at the moment we obviously can’t). His ‘popularity’ rests on cheap commercial reproductions of his paintings."

In 2013 in The Guardian, art critic Jonathan Jones wrote: "Vettriano fixes on fetishistic, stylish objects and paints them with a slick, empty panache" and "The world of Jack Vettriano is a crass male fantasy that might have come straight out of Money by Martin Amis".

In The Scotsman George Kerevan wrote "He suffers all the same criticisms of the early French Impressionists: mere wallpaper, too simplistic in execution and subject, too obviously erotic." Alice Jones wrote in The Independent that Vettriano has been labelled a chauvinist whose "women are sexual objects, frequently half naked and vulnerable, always in stockings and stilettos." Regarding the criticism, sculptor David Mach has said: "If he was a fashion designer Jack would be right up there. It’s all just art world snobbery. Anyway, who cares, he probably makes more money than Damien Hirst anyway."

2020-04-15

Yin Yang

Wikipedia: Yin and Yang
In Chinese philosophy, yin & yang, which are often shortened to "yin-yang" or "yin yang", describes how apparently opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. Many tangible dualities (such as light and dark, fire and water, and male and female) are thought of as physical manifestations of the duality of yin and yang.

Something to think about: apparently opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent.

2019-12-07

Power Play

A lingerie ad as an erotic video. But who's chasing whom? See you in Room 438.

Power Play from lovecodeTV on Vimeo. Published on Feb 8, 2014 by lovecodeTV
Shot at location Sound Garden Hotel Warszawa http://www.soundgardenhotel.pl
Cast - Magdalena Perlinska & Marcin Twardowski
Story - Ewa & Valmaar
Director - Vamaar
1st Assistant Director - Ewa
Camera - Valmaar
Edit - Valmaar & Ewa
Hair & Make-up - Anna Wójcik
Music - Massive Attack "Angel"

References

web site: Love Code Lingerie
New luxury lingerie brand.

Facebook: Love Code Lingerie
In Lovecode Lingerie, we believe that every woman can feel beautiful and sexy at any time. We think that you can be dressed in sensual lingerie both leaving in the morning for work and in your spare time. You do not need a separate set of underwear to the office and a separate for the bedroom. Lovecode Lingerie guarantees maximum wearing comfort and at the same time will ignite the senses.

In Lovecode Lingerie passionately devote ourselves to creating the highest quality lingerie that being comfortable and functional at the same time gives you maximum confidence because it's super sexy and you know what you wear. You feel that you tread firmly on the ground and it's up to you how this day will roll out ...

All our lingerie products we proudly produce in Poland.

Wikipedia: Angel (Massive Attack song)
"Angel" is a song by English trip hop group Massive Attack. It features lead vocals and songwriting from Horace Andy, and is partially based on Andy's song "You are My Angel". It was released as the third single from their third studio album, Mezzanine (1998), on 13 July 1998. "Angel" peaked at number 30 on the UK Singles Chart.

Published on Mar 6, 2009 by massiveattack
YouTube: Massive Attack - Angel (5:24)

2019-11-26

Stuff 2019-11-10

"Sometimes, my desire for you overwhelms me."
Game On by Jack Vettriano (b 1951), Scottish painter

"Woman, the Bliss Queen"
Smuin Ballet featuring Carmina Burana

"Just knowing you crave me is a turn on."
The power of thought

My doctor had a recommendation for my carpal tunnel syndrome.

[Pfffssst!!!!] (sound of me doing a spit take)

2019-11-10

Sayings

“A life without passion is a slow way to freeze to death.” -Unknown

“Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever.” - Unknown

"Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do.
It is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.” –Unknown

"A woman is unabashedly expressive with a man who creates a safe space
to explore the private recesses of her soul." -Graham R. White.

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever.
If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be." –Unknown

2019-11-08

Erotic Thoughts

Anticipation: There's no feeling quite like it.

The hidden recesses of our minds: What secrets lie therein?

What is the RL mind behind the curtain?

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." -Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

You, me, symbolism.

If I was a butterfly...

I want to paint an erotic work of art, and I want to use your body as my canvas.

Love is in the air.

2019-10-30

Erotic Love

"Erotic love is one of the highest forms of contemplation."
Kenneth Rexroth (1905–1982), American poet, translator and critical essayist

True or false?
"Many women have a deep inner longing to be dominated by a man who’s absolutely obsessed with them." -Unknown

"I long to surrender to my desire for you."
Kneeling Man Embracing a Standing Woman by Gustav Vigeland (1869-1943), Norwegian sculptor

Who we are as men and women: What's the science behind our motivations?

Psychology Today - Aug 22/2013
"What Do Women Really Want?" by Noam Shpancer Ph.D.
"Marta Meana, a researcher at the University of Nevada, has argued provocatively that the organizing principle of female sexuality is the desire to be desired."
...
"Female desire, according to Meana, is activated when a woman feels overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered. Female erotic literature, including all those shades of gray, is built on this fantasy. Sexual desire in this view does not work according to our expectations and social values. Desire seeks the path of desire, not the path of righteousness. It thrives not on social order but on its negation. This is one reason all religions and societies try to control, contain, limit and re-direct it."
...
"Despite what is commonly believed, then, Meana argues that female sexuality is more self-centered than male’s. Mick Jagger’s lamentations aside, male fantasies focus on giving satisfaction, not on receiving it. Men see themselves in their fantasies bringing the woman to orgasm, not themselves. Women see the man, set aflame by uncontrollable lust for them, bringing them to ecstasy. Men want to excite women. Women want men to excite them. Being desired is the real female orgasm, Meena says."

2019-10-22

I Never Touch You

I never touch you. But from afar, across time and space, I touch your imagination.

In Second Life, we sit at a computer and run a piece of software. While we communicate with people and interact with them, we never physically touch. Any use of the word touch is figurative, not literal.

And yet...

Dr. Marty Klein (b 1950) is an American sex therapist, educator and public policy analyst. He publishes a monthly magazine called Sexual Intelligence and in issue #137, July 2011 he tells the story of Sam who starts dating a year after his wife left him. (Sexual Intelligence - Issue #137 -- July, 2011)

Sam's having difficulty in bed with a new partner. The real problem? He doesn't know how to talk to his partner. Dr. Klein makes this startling statement: "Talking about sex is much more intimate than doing it."

It’s an interesting perspective on this most personal of acts between human beings. In SL, because we never touch, we are forced to communicate. Should we do this more often in RL? Could more communication in RL enhance our relationships? Naughty emails, suggestive phone calls, sexting. What would Esther Perel say about keeping things hot? (see my blog: Mindf*cking)

Talking about sex is much more intimate than doing it. Wow. Powerful stuff. I've always heard that the body's biggest sex organ is our brain. Are we all missing out on something? Is there more to this thing called sex than just an erection? Is there more to this thing called sex than just sex? This reminds me of an odd question about the brain and sexual arousal. This is applicable to all readers in whatever your partnered circumstances may be, but the wording, if you'll excuse me, is as if I'm asking this of a woman:

Can you give a man a hard-on without touching him?

Obviously, we're back talking not about a man's genitals but about his biggest sexual organ his brain. If that's stimulated, will everything fall into place? And if you think you could successfully answer the above question, I would add a second question:

Could you make a man cum without touching him?

I’ve sometimes wondered about this scenario in RL:

I set up two chairs, back to back. The two of us sit down. We can’t see one another. We can’t touch. We can talk and listen, but there is no physical connection. Question: Can we make love? Can we run gamut: tempt, tease, arouse, excite, and climax? Can we not just communicate but connect? Connect on a most intimate level? We never touch each other, but can we touch each other's imagination?

Now, you may be reading this thinking of Monty Python wink, wink, nudge, nudge. However, this is precisely what therapists have sometimes recommended to couples who are forced to be separated by lengths of time, a worker or a soldier stationed overseas, for instance. Letters, emails, pictures, phone sex, Skype, etc., communication with a naughty slant to keep the love alive, so to speak. The goal is to keep the sense of intimacy between two people.

I want to clarify something, since the questions I wrote above were as a man addressing a woman. It's a two-way street. It's very much a man's responsibility to connect with the woman. It's the responsibility of all of us in any circumstances to connect with our partner. Coming back to SL, can I connect with my partner? Can I make them cum without touching them?

2019-10-21

Mindf*cking

I seize you by the hair.

Warm breath. Sensual lips. Moist tongue. Can I seize you by the imagination?

This woman, a sex therapist, has an interesting concept: "mindfucking".

"The Sex Before the Sex" by Kim Anami
"I like to be penetrated long before any physical contact takes place. In fact, I need to be. Witty banter, teasing, verbal double entendres—all foreplay for me. The people I am attracted to have a keen grasp on language, ideas and poetry. Little that they say is strictly linear or without a hint of play or sexuality."
...
"For me, that battle starts early. It could go on for days. Weeks. It doesn’t need to stop. Each throw down we have, each time we cannot resist physical touch any longer, wipes the slate clean and gives us the chance to start anew. Who will bring the other person to wetness or hardness first? Who will be so overcome with desire that they tackle the other person when they get in the door?"

Ms. Anami was writing about RL, but her idea is applicable to all worlds. Can we get into each other's head? Good sex is good sex. But great sex can be almost spiritual.


This idea is echoed by others.

Wikipedia: Esther Perel
Esther Perel (born 1958) is a Belgian psychotherapist who has explored the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure and distance) in human relationships.

Perel promoted the concept of Erotic Intelligence in her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2006), which has been translated into 24 languages. After publishing the book, she became an international advisor on sex and relationships. She gave a TED talk in February 2013 entitled The secret to desire in a long-term relationship (YouTube 19:10), and another in March 2015 entitled Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved (YouTube 21:30).

Perel is the host of the podcast Where Should We Begin?, which is based inside her therapist's office as she sees anonymous couples in search of insight into topics such as infidelity, sexlessness and grief.

In 2016, Perel was named to Oprah Winfrey's Supersoul 100 list of visionaries and influential leaders.

“Erotic couples understand that foreplay is not something you do 5 minutes before sex begins –

foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm.” – Esther Perel

I contend that in SL (and in RL), while there may be a sexual aspect to our interactions, what we're all really looking for is a connection, an erotic connection. I've said that anybody can click on a pose ball but not everyone can make it count. And if it doesn't count, what's the point?

May you find a connection, erotic, passionate, and fulfilling.
In other words, may you have it all.
All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)

2019-10-19

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

Published on Apr 3, 2010 by fiegepilz
YouTube: Casablanca - As Time Goes By - Original Song by Sam (Dooley Wilson) (3:03)

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

“Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” ―Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

“One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.” ―Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” ―Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“I'm oxygen and he's dying to breathe.” ―Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

“Make me immortal with a kiss.” ―Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus and Other Plays, Parts 1-2

“I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference.” ―Ernest Hemingway

“Well, it's either kiss me or kill me, that's how I see it.” ―Tom Waits

“A kiss may ruin a human life” ―Oscar Wilde

“breathtaking:, adj. Those mornings when we kiss and surrender for an hour before we say a single word.” ―David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

“I'm going to kiss you now, and I don't know if I'll ever stop.” ―Jamie McGuire, Providence

“This is the part where I kiss you.” ―Cynthia Hand, Hallowed

“Teasing's part of the fun that comes before kissing” ―Lois Lowry, Messenger

“Now a soft kiss - Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss.” ―John Keats

“You should be kissed and by someone who knows how.” ―Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

“The first kiss can be as terrifying as the last.” ―Daina Chaviano, The Island of Eternal Love

“Can I try something?" I said. "If you don't like it, I'll stop.” ―Aimee Carter, The Goddess Test

References

Wikipedia: As Time Goes By (song)
"As Time Goes By" is a song written by Herman Hupfeld in 1931. It became most famous in 1942 when it was sung by the character Sam (Dooley Wilson) in the movie Casablanca. The song was voted No. 2 on the AFI's 100 Years...100 Songs special, commemorating the best songs in film. It has been used as a fanfare for Warner Bros. Pictures since 1999 and was the title and theme song of the 1990s British comedy series As Time Goes By.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." -Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

By any other name...

2014-08-20