Mindf*cking

I seize you by the hair.

Warm breath. Sensual lips. Moist tongue. Can I seize you by the imagination?

This woman, a sex therapist, has an interesting concept: "mindfucking".

"The Sex Before the Sex" by Kim Anami
"I like to be penetrated long before any physical contact takes place. In fact, I need to be. Witty banter, teasing, verbal double entendres—all foreplay for me. The people I am attracted to have a keen grasp on language, ideas and poetry. Little that they say is strictly linear or without a hint of play or sexuality."
...
"For me, that battle starts early. It could go on for days. Weeks. It doesn’t need to stop. Each throw down we have, each time we cannot resist physical touch any longer, wipes the slate clean and gives us the chance to start anew. Who will bring the other person to wetness or hardness first? Who will be so overcome with desire that they tackle the other person when they get in the door?"

Ms. Anami was writing about RL, but her idea is applicable to all worlds. Can we get into each other's head? Good sex is good sex. But great sex can be almost spiritual.


This idea is echoed by others.

Wikipedia: Esther Perel
Esther Perel (born 1958) is a Belgian psychotherapist who has explored the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure and distance) in human relationships.

Perel promoted the concept of Erotic Intelligence in her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2006), which has been translated into 24 languages. After publishing the book, she became an international advisor on sex and relationships. She gave a TED talk in February 2013 entitled The secret to desire in a long-term relationship (YouTube 19:10), and another in March 2015 entitled Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved (YouTube 21:30).

Perel is the host of the podcast Where Should We Begin?, which is based inside her therapist's office as she sees anonymous couples in search of insight into topics such as infidelity, sexlessness and grief.

In 2016, Perel was named to Oprah Winfrey's Supersoul 100 list of visionaries and influential leaders.

“Erotic couples understand that foreplay is not something you do 5 minutes before sex begins –

foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm.” – Esther Perel

I contend that in SL (and in RL), while there may be a sexual aspect to our interactions, what we're all really looking for is a connection, an erotic connection. I've said that anybody can click on a pose ball but not everyone can make it count. And if it doesn't count, what's the point?

May you find a connection, erotic, passionate, and fulfilling.
In other words, may you have it all.
All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)

2019-10-19