Second Life Profiles

I've read a lot of profiles. I mean hundreds of profiles. Some are good. Some are bad. After reading so many, I see themes, commonalities representing the SL experience.

Some leave their profiles blank, missing out on this wonderful opportunity to make first impression. Our profile is our calling card. It is a chance to explain who we are and what we're looking for in (second) life.

I don't have time to chat with everyone and have come to use profiles to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. I'm sure there are nice people out there with a blank profile, but I'm trying to reduce the time I waste while online. I don't "click" with everybody. On the other hand, everybody doesn't "click" with me. Statistically, it's a forgone conclusion we are not going to hit it off with everyone we meet so using a profile to filter out potentially bad matches, we can hopefully reduce the time we waste online.

As such, in any meeting area, I always start with reading profiles. If a profile is blank, I discard it and move on to the next person. What the person has written in their biography makes me decide to discard it or look further.

Picks allow someone to further write about themselves. Oddly enough,  I find some Picks are merely a collection of locations like Stores, with the description of the store. The person has not best exploited their picks as a means of communication. Unless the biography is exceptional, I discard the profile and move on to the next person.

Going through the list of Groups can further describe who a person is and what they're looking for. Some, of course, like me, hide their groups. Why do I hide my groups? My online persona is a gentleman. Consequently, I show groups that support that idea. I also jokingly tell people that I hide the more scandalous of my groups because I hate meeting people, have them open my profile, and then go running from the room screaming. Ha, ha! But on a more serious note, I like to reveal the more, ahem, scandalous part of my personality at the right time and the right place. In referring to that number one complaint I've seen in profiles about men broaching the topic of sex at first meeting, I like to meet people, chat, and find out who they are, and then explore more intimate options if we "click".

Common Themes
The tone of some profiles is negative. The person has had bad experiences in Second Life, and their profile reflects self-defence. Bad experiences are unfortunate, but we must remain upbeat. I've seen people actually say something to the effect that if you ask about R.L., I'll tell you to F.O. Okay, I get it. Some people are inquisitive and bothersome about it. But I can't help feeling that it is better to deal with issues with humour rather than anger. Let me give you an example.

In reading profiles, I'd say the number one complaint people have is about men running around with their dick out, asking every woman "Wanna f*ck?" Okay, that could be annoying. Ha! But here's my joke for all the ladies. If a guy asks you "Wanna f*ck?", you reply, "Yes. Just not with you." Humour can be more disarming than anger. I'm sure that will send the horny little boy home with his tail between his legs, so to speak. :-)

Inquiries about RL
Hey, people are curious! Guys tend to be leery of women, wondering if there's a man behind the scenes driving the avatar. I'm afraid homophobia is far more prevalent in our society than we care to admit. I was amused how one woman pointed out that you see women advertising they're voice-verified, but you don't see men advertising voice-verified. Ha!

I compliment some people in handling this issue with aplomb and diplomacy. Rather than threatening blocking or muting or telling the person to F.O., some say quite simply, "My RL is fine. I'm here for the fantasy." I enjoy some people using their RL to up the fantasy tease by saying something like "More than you can possibly handle." Ha, ha! That's great!

Notes
In every profile is a section called Notes. However, this is a most interesting part of a profile. These Notes are unique to me and me alone. Everyone of us has our own Notes attached to every profile. We can write anything we want about the individual in question. Hats off to the genius who thought up this idea.

I jot down tidbits about the person so I can later remember things like the date when we met, where we met, what did we talk about, particulars about the personality, etc. If I'm out at a club perusing profiles, the first thing I do is look at Notes. If anybody contacts me, I open their profile and look at Notes. I've done this so faithfully over the years, I can reliably say that if Notes is blank, we've never met.

One oddity I add to a profile is whether or not the experience was a good one or a bad one and whether it's worth repeating. If not, at the top of Notes I write in capital letters DO NOT ENGAGE. Yup, I rate the person and if no good, I don't want to waste my time. It may seem harsh, but I know people have rated me. No harm, no foul. Let's all spent time with people we get along with.

Final Word
A profile is our calling card. Who are you? What do you want? But most importantly, why should I stop to talk to you? Yes, I'm sure you're a nice person and an interesting personality but could you make the effort to give me a clue that you are any of those things? I appreciate a good read, and I appreciate your time and effort. 

References

my blog: Anonymity and Total Freedom

my blog: I Never Touch You

my blog: Mind F*cking

2021-02-10