I have a story to tell, and it may very well be a doozy!

In 2020, I got myself a free Flickr account. Amusingly enough, I guess I had some run-ins with the Flickr police about their categories of Safe, Moderate, and Restricted, and so decided to categorize everything as Restricted. There! Take that, Flickr!

I discovered the SL community, liking other people's photos and them liking mine. But I admit I was a rank amateur; my photographic endeavors were (and still are) basic at best while other people had a degree of professionalism and an artistic eye. In the middle of 2021, I discovered one such photograher, Alice (not the real name). I joked with her that she was a double threat, a photographer and a model, as good behind the camera as she was in front of it.

For part of 2021/2022, we had a back and forth in the comment section of her photos. Our exchanges were friendly, sometimes flirty, but always polite and respectful. I played the part of the enamored suitor, smitten by her beauty. Yes, I was trying to charm the panties off her in front of the whole world. All in good fun.

In October 2021, Flickr announced a change in its rules about free accounts (effective May 22/2022): If ya wanna play, ya gotta pay. Not being much of a photographer, I didn't think it worthwhile to get a pro account, so I deleted my account in the spring of 2022, just ahead of the effective date. However, I thought Alice merited special attention, so I gifted her a pro account. Although, I'm not sure she really needed it. All of her work was marked Safe, being flirty but never overtly sexual.

Because I was no longer on Flickr, I lost track of Alice. Months later, I did create another free account, but merely to look at people's stuff; I never used it to like photos or comment on them. I peeked in from time to time to enjoy Alice's work as she was carrying on with her myriad of followers, liking and commenting on her photos. (I just checked. This Flickr account has 1.5K followers.)

Suddenly, in December 2022, Alice stopped posting. All of 2023, nothing. Where did she go? 2024, nothing. Then...

On August 8, 2024, I noticed on Primfeed that Betty (not her real name) followed me. Who's that? As I usually do, I first looked at her Primfeed account, then I looked at her Second Life profile. I immediately noted she was partnered with Alice. Really? The very first pick was entitled "In Memory of Alice". Wait! What?

A place of peace to remember our dear heart, Alice.
This garden is to remember of her life, her love, and the light she shared with us all.
~March 2021~

But other picks talked about Betty becoming partners with Cathy, in fact marrying her. But then, another pick was entitled "We still love you, Alice".

You were always a light, a voice, a spirit of love and kindness.
And we miss you dearly.

Who was this Betty? What was going on?

I contacted her in-world, asking about her relationship to Alice. Almost ten hours later, I got a response.

Hi Hugh! It's nice hearing from you and I hope you're doing well. I have a confession to make to you - the person you knew as Alice was in reality me, Betty. I hope you can forgive me for the deception. After my Alice passed away, I was just so sad that I made an alt of her to help me with my grief. I missed her so much, and I would take pictures of her beautiful avi because it helped me remember her, and to share with other people how wonderful she was. I was kind of out-of-my-mind, I suppose, but that was how I coped with my sadness.

I remember all your fun posts to the pictures, and really looked forward to reading them. I know Alice would have loved your posts too. I hope you can forgive my deception, you're one of only three people that know it was me on Flickr. Thank you for your inquiry, if you'd like to learn more about my lovie, you can visit her memorial, which I'll send to you in an IM. Best wishes to you. - Betty

Final Word
The above picture is from my visit to the memorial. As well as the main picture, there were several frames of Betty's words about Alice. FYI: I blacked out Alice's face so as to give her and Betty privacy.

I found it curious sitting there, contemplating everything. Alice died in March 2021, and yet, here she lived on. I'm sure all of us have our own experiences with such situations. My parents have been dead now for over twenty years, but at a recent family gathering, their names came up and people told stories about Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa. They may be long gone but part of them lives on in all of us.

Do I feel deceived? Alice was but one of several photographers I knew on Flickr where I would leave comments. I never met her and didn't have any expectation of anything other than our Flickr interactions. However, I'm now thinking about the illusion of Second Life, this virtual fantasyland. We log in and are transported to another world. Alice was part of that world, but now, I know Alice herself was an illusion, in fact, an illusion in an illusion. From July 2021 to May 2022, I chatted with a woman who died in March 2021.

It's a curious story of how Betty dealt with her grief. Betty has found a new partner, and I'm sure Alice would approve. Life always moves forward. We can remember the past and enjoy those memories, but we are all constantly moving on.

People disappear in SL, and we may never know what happened on the other side of the computer screen. Now, I know. I think Alice would be pleased with the memorial and touched by how warmly Betty still talks of her. Alice has left her mark.


References

my blog: What's my survival rate? (1,300 words, 6-minute read) - Dec 17/2022
D is rarely on and I suppose we only exchange messages a few times per year. A month ago, out of the blue, she sends me a message while I'm offline, explaining she's been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, the doctors giving her six months to three years. I write back with my condolences but hear nothing.

my blog: Flickr: What is the risk of having my account terminated? (1,400 words, 6-minute read) - Oct 26/2021
On Monday, October 25, 2021, I clicked on the bookmarked URL for D’s Flickr and was met with a Page Not Found error. My friend is the admin of a Flickr group, and I discovered her name had disappeared. I contacted D, and she was surprised and shocked by the news. Was this a computer glitch? What else could have gone wrong? She said she was contacting Flickr.

2024-08-09