My shtick: Would the real Hugh Toussaint please stand up?

I like to say that in SL, I’m playing myself. I’m not a vampire, Neko, or furry. I don’t have a lengthy backstory about being abandoned as a child and having grown up fending for myself in a world full of gangsters and drugs.

My SL is like my RL. Well, sort of. Obviously, in SL there are no guard rails. Say or do anything you want without any fear of repercussions in RL Break the rules, ignore the taboos, heck, flout the law.

I am a gentleman. I am polite and respectful. I wear a suit and tie. And I do not behave like a jackass.

Over the years, the number one complaint I’ve heard from the ladies has been about the guy who walks around with his junk out, asking every woman he meets “Wanna f*ck?”

I don’t do that. I can’t imagine doing it. I remain startled that anybody would think that such an approach would work under any circumstances.

Now, does that mean I’m some sort of goodie two shoes? Old saying:

Don’t be a perverted asshole. Be a perverted gentleman.

However, I strictly follow my rule of the three rights:

At the right time, in the right place, with the right partner, anything is possible.

If those three rights are not in alignment, I don’t get my junk out.

I do not say I’m a dom. I’m certainly not a sub. Although, over the years, I’ve been amused at the reaction to me being polite. People have been surprised. People have asked if I’m a Dom. People have asked if I’m a sub. But invariably, once people realize I’m serious, they seem to be delighted. Oh my God, a man who says please and thank you and is not going to show me a dick pic!

I come to SL to have fun. I hope everyone with whom I interact also has fun. Their fun is important to me.

I don’t build. I’m not a photographer or artist. I don’t work, for instance as a DJ or a store owner.

I come to SL for the people. I enjoy hearing their story. I enjoy the interaction. Sometimes it clicks, sometimes it does not. No matter. I remain polite and respectful.

And I play it by ear. Sometimes, a relationship may blossom into something else, but only with the three rights in alignment. I believe things should happen organically, so I don’t believe in forcing anything.

Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do.
It is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already. –Unknown

Male or female, I’m positive and supportive. I gain nothing by criticizing or belittling. I would hope to leave everyone with a smile.

My Favourite Role
The woman is an irresistible siren, a creature of great beauty and charm. I am the enamored male, utterly defenseless in face of such allure. This can lead to some amusing exchanges.

What am I doing?

In my experience, the more powerful a woman is, the more confident she is. The more confident she is, the more passionate she is. (passionate = sexual)

But let me be clear: It’s not about sex. If it clicks; it clicks. But I don’t set out with the goal of adding a notch to my belt. The three rights have to be in alignment. Rather, I’m looking for a “connection”, whether only friendship or more intimate.

But I do want people to walk away with a sense of well-being, of feeling good about themselves. I want to be a good experience. I want our encounter, whatever it may be, to be a positive force.

They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.
-Carl W. Buechner (misattributed to Maya Angelou)

At the heart of it all, I like to think I’m a nice guy. Polite, respectful, friendly, with a liking for humour. As I jokingly like to say:

A man should make a woman do two things: moan and laugh. And probably more of the latter.

To summarize, in suggesting the possibility of “clicking”, I would like to end with a touch of anticipation, with a hint of “edginess”, with me being a little tongue-in-cheek.

I’m a gentleman.
Until it’s time to not be.

All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)

2025-11-11

Sex is bad. But sex feels good. I'm confused.

Like everyone else, I walk around and accept the world as is. It is what it is. And I must work within the bounds of that reality. But every once in a while, I stop and ask why. Why are things the way they are? How did we get here?

It's a curious theme in stories how temptation is associated with death. Years ago, I asked the question why in many cultures is "sex" is considered as "bad". I read an analysis of Christian themes which stated that in order to get into Heaven, we must struggle and suffer, the keyword here being "suffer". As a consequence, anything "pleasurable" like sex had to be "bad". Suffer good, pleasure bad. Suffer Heaven, pleasure Hell.

I'm bringing this up because we all go about our daily business, accepting the world, our culture, etc. "as is". Things are because they just are. We never stop to ask why.

The problem crops up when we try to reconcile these supposedly conflicting points of view. Is sex bad? Is there something inherently wrong with sex?

I believe the answer to that question is a resounding no. Our problem is that we live in a culture which says sex is bad, and how in Heaven's name do we live with the cognitive dissonance of "sex is bad", but sex just feels so damn good? We're being told one thing, but our experience says otherwise. Somebody's lying to us.

I've jokingly said that there is so much sexuality in Second Life that SL really stands for Sex Life. With the freedom of our online identity, we can say or do anything we want without the fear of repercussions, and we choose to be the sexual creature we long to be.

Sexism
In this analysis, connecting sex to bad, the female, starting with Eve, has been connected to sex and temptation, and she herself has been qualified as bad. Sexism, the Double Standard, misogyny, etc., all these ideas are founded on the misinterpretation of suffer good, pleasure bad.

Personally, I think sex is a gift from God. When done right, it is our opportunity to "bond" with another human being, to transcend our individualism and become spiritual, become one with another.

Final Word
The inspiration of this posting came from the picture Willing Sacrifice by Zee Blackcrest. It made me think of the religious themes of temptation, evil, and sex.

In writing this article, I went back and researched the ideas. The duality between good and bad, light and darkness, the spiritual and the physical has existed for thousands of years. The philosophical school of Asceticism promoted the (supposed) nobleness of the spirit over the material including the flesh. In looking at all this, it's no surprise we are a confused race. As I said above we are told sex is bad, but then discover sex feels good. Okay, I'm going to Hell. Ha, ha, ha!

I've gotten way too heavy for this posting. So, I'll end on a much lighter note:

Apart from everything else, sex is just f*cking hot! Ha, again!

All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)


References

photo credit:
"Willing Sacrifice" by Zee Blackcrest (zanderblackcrest) with Olive Spring (olivespring)
published 2025-11-02 on Primfeed: used with permission.

Thanks to Zee Blackcrest and Olive Spring for this photograph. I'm quite sure neither one of them thought of winding up in this rather serious dissertation on temptation, and I apologize if this is, well, not what you were expecting. :-)

2025-11-04