Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

Now that I have your attention.

Second Life is a 3D modeling environment: buildings, landscapes, furniture, and, of course, avatars, bodies, heads, skins, extras, and clothes. Oh, how we love our clothes!

Like water, we all find our own level. Socializing, dancing, creating, photography, art, and building. But for some, SL could very well stand for Sex Life. Doing it, talking about it, viewing it, sharing it, publishing it, and thinking about it if not dreaming about it.

Does that sound obsessive? Does that sound like an addiction worthy of a 12-step program?

Sex is the most fundamental of our animal instincts. We can’t escape it. We can’t hide it. We can’t control it.

We can, however, accept it, embrace it, and enjoy it. We can even revel it. I’m not a religious man, but I feel sex is a gift from God. It is not inherently bad, but we humans do love to make a mess of things sometimes. Ha!

I can picture you reading this and shaking your head, thinking this guy’s got a screw loose. But scroll through Primfeed and tell me what you see. There is a lot of sexual content. And even if said content isn’t graphic, it’s suggestive, erotic, or flirtatious. There may not be a money shot, but there is certainly a sexual atmosphere to the proceedings.

I have to chuckle. In SL, we get an avatar, a new identity, and most importantly, anonymity. We face no repercussions from RL and have total freedom to say or do anything we want. What do we do with that freedom?

I am delighted and sometimes surprised by the sexuality which comes bursting out of people as if the hidden recesses of their mind have been percolating their entire life, impatiently waiting for the right opportunity to bubble up in a geyser of self-expression. Look at me! I’m wild! I’m badass! I’m sexual!

I have a Facebook account. People post their thoughts; they like; and they comment. We are all part of this virtual town square.

In a way, Second Life is a social media, but this social media has none of the usual restrictions one encounters in real life. Men, show us your bulge! Ladies, pull up your top and flash us! We want to show off our sexuality. We feel liberated. We are free. And we feel powerful.

Interesting, isn’t it? Our sexuality gives us a sense of power. I am a vibrant, passionate being. I am sexual. I am alive! You can’t hold me back. You can’t suppress me. I’m going to run free!

I say that SL stands for Sex Life. That seems funny, but you have to admit, there is some truth to the idea.

I don’t mix SL and RL. However, I recognise RL is always part of us. Despite our new identity, we remain irrevocably our RL mind.

Once in a while, in RL, I look at the people around me and wonder who in this crowd plays Second Life? Who is posting scandalous pictures of themselves on Primfeed? In RL, we all must follow the norms of society. But in SL, we can break the rules, ignore the taboos, and even flout the law. We can open wide those hidden recesses of our mind and bring out into the light of day the passion we all crave.

Yeehaw!


May your days be filled with interesting moments with interesting people.

All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)


Photo credit: 2024-07-08 Angel of Pain by Susann DeCuir

2025-10-28

Role Paying Sex: Wait! You’re not actually having sex?

Years ago, I read a comment in a user group where somebody thought sex in Second Life was stupid because people weren’t actually having sex; they were merely role playing it. Heck, they were faking it!

In a first-person shooter game like Call of Duty or Halo, you shoot a gun and kill bad guys, aliens, or monsters. However, you’re not actually shooting a gun and you’re not actually killing anybody. Following the same logic, Call of Duty is stupid.

Personally, I would rather role play intimacy than role play killing. But that’s just my preference.

So, are we all role playing, or are some of us actually “getting off”? Inquiring minds want to know!

While some people voice, I think the majority text. I’ve seen numerous people in profiles claiming that voicing ruins their fantasy. I do have to admit; there is a sort of “in your face” aspect to voicing. It’s like you’re no longer watching the movie; you’re in it.

Years ago, I was going through a sex scene with somebody. At the end of it, they explained they had actually had an orgasm in RL; what about me? I’m typing 60 words a minute, using my mouse to control not just my avatar but the various animations of the furniture we were using, and snapping pictures. It goes without saying that I don’t have a third hand.

Although, in joking about a third hand, I remember one lady explaining to me how she sat with a vibrating egg. We only have two hands, but we do have toys, some of them remote controlled. — I’ve discovered there are groups dedicated to Lovense where people swap control of their toys. — But returning to text messaging, I make the humorous paraphrase of the Zen Buddhist koan: “What is the sound of one hand typing?”

But let me come back to the idea that SL is SL and RL is RL. Most of the time, what’s going on in RL doesn’t come up. We’re in SL; we play in SL. Never the twain shall meet. Except when I get a BRB for a bathroom break.

However, a true story:

Several times over the years, it was apparent to me that my partners were pleasuring themselves. I told them: “Don’t type. Read my words. Watch our avatars. Just focus on yourself.”

For ten minutes or so, I would go through a scenario with no response from the other person. Total radio silence. I would type out the scene, describing my actions and my thoughts, emphasizing my own excitement about our scene together and my sexual reaction to it. Eventually, my partner would come back, and from that point, we would carry on. We would not discuss what had transpired in RL

I don’t have numbers, but I suspect the vast majority of sexual role playing remains just that, role playing. There is no real-life sexual activity. Some of us may have toys and may be able to do something, but most do not. Does that mean we’re not having sex?

I once read an article by a sex therapist who was dealing with long-distance relationships — soldiers who were overseas on a tour of duty, oil platform drillers who were away for weeks at a time — and the recommendation was that couples should have long-distance intimacy, including phone sex. This was to keep the love and lust alive.

In Second Life, I would put forward we are all doing the same thing. We may not be wildly doing the one-handed fandango in RL, but we are sharing the most intimate part of our being, our sexuality, with another person. We are exposing ourselves; we are making ourselves vulnerable; and we are confessing our most personal side.

As I said earlier, I find this far more enjoyable than picking up a gun and killing somebody, even if that person is an NPC in a game. But that’s just me. To each their own. When my partner “kills me”, I want to be lying in bed, my chest heaving and beads of sweat dotting my forehead, all with a big grin on my face. Beat that score Call of Duty! I win!

2025-10-26

I said it was Weird. I didn't say I wouldn't do it.

As I've said repeatedly, you come to Second Life and get an avatar, a new identity, and most importantly, anonymity. You can say or do anything you want without fear of repercussions in your real life. You are not going to be burned at the stake.

What do you do with "total and absolute freedom"?

A few years back, I was standing on the most scandalous of SIMs. Rampant perversion and depravity were everywhere. I said hello to a woman, X. All names have been changed because everyone was as guilty as hell.

X informs me she was just passing through; she got there by accident; out of curiosity, she thought to have a look.

Yeah, right.

It turns out she was hesitant because she was apprehensive about how I was going to react. We're in SL with the protection of anonymity, and she was still worried about what I was going to think about what turned out to be a secret fantasy she had been carrying around for years.

At that particular moment, she didn't see the joke. What was I doing standing at that LM (landmark)?. Ha, ha, ha!

We come to the table with a set of preconceived notions about the things. We may have no knowledge whatsoever about some "thing", and yet, we have an opinion about it. I'm reminded of an old joke, as if said by a woman.

"You want me to what in my mouth?"

I've done some crazy sh*t in my life. In SL and in RL. But what was interesting was that I and a partner tried this "thing". Neither one of us started out by saying "Eew!" We tried it and afterward, we assessed it. Was it good? Was it pleasurable? Was it fun? Would we do it again?

The curious part was that in doing it together, it provided us with a bonding moment, a shared experience. Even if we both felt this "thing" was not worth repeating, this shared experience was something we could laugh about together later on.

I'm neutral about Sushi. If the menu had Sushi and filet mignon, I'd pick the filet mignon 100% of the time.

However, a friend wanted me to take her out for sushi. I like my friend and wanted to please her. I "got into it". Within the context of our date, I became enthusiastic for our night out and delved into the world of sushi. I had a good time. I sampled things I don't normally eat. And with my friend, I had a new and enjoyable experience. I'd still order filet mignon, but if my friend wanted to go out for sushi again, I'd do it.
As you may be able to guess, if I started out with "Eew! Sushi!" I would have missed out on a good experience in life. At the end of the day, it turns out I'm not so much against sushi but more "neutral" about it. Besides, I derive a great deal of satisfaction from pleasing my partner, and her enthusiasm for sushi spurs me on and adds to my enjoyment.

So, I return to my joke. "You want me to put what in my mouth?"

Well, that's weird, but what the heck, I'll give it a shot!

All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)

2025-10-18