Several years ago, I was role playing sex with MA, a woman I had recently met. In the middle of this, she stops me.
Oh, oh!
She then tells me what she didn't like. I was being too repetitive. Kiss, caress, or lick two or three times, but not a dozen times. I was also IMing too much, and she didn't feel she could get a word in edgewise.
I was mortified. I wanted to quit Second Life then and there, run into my bedroom, and hide under the bed.
Instead, I gritted my teeth and listened as she explained herself. I learned something that day. I was still embarrassed to the Nth degree, but I learned something. And then, I began to wonder: How many others had not liked what I was doing but said nothing? This woman had taken the time, kindly I might add, to speak to me, offer advice, and correct me. How many people in SL, or RL for that matter, take the time to help?
I haven't made that mistake again. As I jokingly like to say:
I don't want to make the same mistake twice; I want to move on to new mistakes.
But I also recognized something else: A woman made me a better man.
Oh, I've learned from men: my father, teachers, bosses, etc. But I've also learned from women, from my mother to teachers and, of course, lovers. I am the sum total of my experiences and the people who've helped me along the way. In this particular instance, I offer my gratitude to a woman.
Recently, I made another mistake, a doozy of a mistake. ED, a friend, invited me to be a spectator at an event but I ended up not being a silent spectator; I like to be active. This was not well received. It was not at all appreciated. I may have been able to talk with ED one on one, but I should not have spoken in local to the entire room.
ED told me my behavior embarrassed her. I fell on my sword and apologized personally to the host of the event, wanting to make sure ED was considered blameless. While ED claims I'm supposedly not persona non grata, the fact the host never responded leads me to believe I'm not going to get a warm welcome back.
I told ED she can unfriend me if she wants; no hard feelings, but she replied, "No need to do that." However, I'm sure this has irrevocably changed our friendship. Trust is hard to get, easy to lose, and difficult if not impossible to regain.
Final Word
Years later, MA and I remain friends but we have never seen each other since. Every Christmas, she sends me a card. I'm sure we'll never see each other again as we travel in different circles, and I see she's rarely on these days.
Go and sin no more. I'm sure this won't be the last time I commit a faux pas. As the old joke goes I only open my mouth to change feet. The odd or funny part of life is that by the time we figure everything all out, it's time for us to die.
Years ago, I read that the author Stephen King did not like the author James Patterson. In an interview in TIME magazine, Patterson responded by saying, "There are thousands of people who don't like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do."
I once saw an estimate that Second Life has 800,000 active monthly users.
A few years ago, I met someone, had a nice chat, and they friended me. Sometime later, I discovered she had unfriended me. Nothing odd about that; cleaning your friends list happens all the time. I saw her at a SIM and said hello but discovered she had blocked me. What? I had no idea what I could have done that warranted blocking me but I shrugged and said, "Oh well, now I only have 799,999 people to talk to."
Postscript 2024-06-15
ED contacted me yesterday to say hello. She contacted me again today, adding she didn't want any bad bood between us. I told her it was very generous of her, mentioning I was still embarrassed and sulking. She said everybody involved had moved on. We chatted a bit; it was pleasant. It would seem everything has gone back to normal. This is where I shrug. I made a mistake. How long am I required to beat myself over it? Once again, I compliment ED for making the first move in smoothing things over. She's a nice person. I'm an idiot. Ha, ha, ha!
Postscript 2024-07-18
Years ago, RL and I met, seemed to hit it off, and were intimate. She didn't see me again. Something went wrong but I never knew exactly what. The episode with MA above seemed to clarify that for me. Sometimes my enthusiasm may not be good role play for somebody else, and that person does not takes the time to say anything, just going into the night never to be seen again.
Recently, I saw RD at a club and said hello. The exchange was brief but polite when she suddenly left. I said good-bye but got no response. She hasn't fogotten. I always use the Notes section of a profile to track tidbits about the individual, date we met, where we met, things about the personality and our chat. I did not note this quesitonable incident in RD's profile but I've now added to not contact her again. Some things can be repaired. Sometimes you get a second chance. And sometimes, the best course of action is to leave it alone and never touch it again. Now, I only have 799,998 people to talk to.
Postscript 2024-08-08
ED changes her name to hyphenate it with what I assume is the name of her new Dominant. I tell her congratulations and she is quite warm in her response. Three days later, I see she's changed her name back and I message, "It's none of my business, but I hope you're okay." She replies that she's okay but it is none of my business. O-kay. Let's leave that one alone.
Today, I just noticed she unfriended me. I can't say I'm surprised. I did have an afterthought about all the above. People who seem to be mature, stable personalities seem to be more compassionate than critical. They forgive. Others may lean toward drama, that eternal problem mentioned in countless profiles. As I jokingly said above: Oh well, now I only have 799,999 people to talk to. But I still hope ED is okay, and that she finds happiness and ends up at peace with herself and the rest of the world.
References
My Love-Hate Relationship With Second Life - Dec 20/2023
I love it. I hate it. It's complicated.
Second Life: Still interesting after all these years?- Nov 16/2023
Why keep coming back? What the heck is the point of playing a game?
2024-06-11
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