Wanna f*ck? - Being polite: It's free and adds nothing to the overall cost.

My online persona is that of a gentleman: suit and tie, polite and respectful, and when I meet people for the first time, I address them as Mr. Last Name for men, and Ms. Last Name for women. At some point, a man or a woman asks me to call them by their first name. I explain that Mom always taught me to first be polite and wait for the individual to tell me how they would like to be addressed, adding, "I can't very well go against Mom, now, can I?" I'm trying to be affable to set people at ease. This isn't a contest; we're all in this together.

I contrast this with what I've already written about: The man who walks around with his junk out asking every woman he meets, "Wanna f*ck?" My joke for you ladies: When asked if you "wanna f*ck?", you reply, "Yes, just not with you." I think remaining calm and responding with humour is the best way to deflate an aggressive come on.

I thought to write again about this because I've met a number of strangers recently who were - How do I put this? - surprised I was polite. Surprised? Just who the heck have you been talking to? One woman said it was refreshing to talk to a gentleman, and when I jokingly asked, "Am I?" she replied, In SL terms you are already a gentleman cause you didn't say "wanna fuck."

Good Lord! As I jokingly say, It's not that I'm so good, it's that everybody else is so bad.

Over and over, people have repeated in their profiles that there is a real live human being behind every avatar, and we should all treat them with the same respect we would treat anybody in RL. And yet, judging by the stories I've heard, this doesn't seem to be going on. I suppose one could argue there's a certain distance from people in SL or any social media, for that matter, and that distance may give a person a certain liberty to act more aggressively than they normally do. If you're standing right in front of somebody in RL, unless you're drunk or like to live dangerously, you're probably not going to tell a stranger to F.O. out of fear of getting punched in the nose.

I have to chuckle at the above meme. I think we all want to be sexual; we just disagree on how to get there. Years ago, I visited the most scandalous of sex SIMs "Nadine's Dirty Fuckbunker (SURL)". The name says it all, doesn't it? It's obscene. It's about sex, more sex, and nothing but sex. Oh, did I mention sex? I started to chat with a woman standing to one side. At some point, she complained about a guy who asked her if she wanted to f*ck. Considering where we were, I found this amusing. If you're standing at Frank's Ballroom, one would expect to be asked to dance. If you're standing at Nadine's, the question didn't strike me as out of place.

But it did make me think that even in the most depraved of locales, this woman still wanted to be wooed. There has to be some sort of role play, some sort of back and forth, some interesting chat to engage the mind and make the imagination soar. I suppose any of us, man or woman, could show up in a fit of horniness where we want to just go at it, but since this is a virtual fantasyland, that is, we never actually physically touch, engaging the mind is of the utmost importance. I said the woman wanted to be wooed, but let me rephrase that by saying we all want to be wooed. Yes, we want to f*ck, but we want to do so with style.

The following animated GIF amusingly sums up the reality of us playing in Second Life, this virtual fantasyland.

As I said above, we never physically touch therefore, we must engage the mind. In my piece I Never Touch You, I talk about engaging the mind by asking two questions.

Can you arouse your partner without touching them?

Obviously, we're not talking about their genitals but about their biggest sexual organ their brain. If that's stimulated, will everything fall into place? And if you think you could successfully answer the above question, I will add a second question:

Could you make your partner cum without touching them?

In my article, I'm talking about Second Life, about playing within the context of this virtual fantasyland. But let me point out that this idea is very much applicable to real life. In fact, in any relationship, whether SL and RL, sex isn't just about sex; sex is about engaging the mind.

I've seen a number of couples posting erotic pictures, writing erotica, flirting back and forth, as part of their daily lives. They attempt to engage one another to keep the love and lust alive. We all deserve a tingle, and I would go so far as to say tingles are an important part of remaining active, being engaged, and heck, feeling alive!

I like to say: At the right time, in the right place, with the right partner, anything is possible. I love the following meme, being a polite gentleman but with a hint of danger. We all want to end up in the same place but can we get there in style? Old Chinese saying: The journey is the reward.

Final Word
My experience is that people may at first be startled by my politeness but they do love it. Reap what you sow. Be nice and you get nice back. As I like to joke: If somebody is an a-hole in SL, more than likely, they're an a-hole in RL. In SL, I'm basically playing myself. I'm not a vampire, Neko, or part of Gor; I'm just being me. I am polite in RL so SL being an extension of my real self, I'm polite here as well. I don't think you can go wrong. Besides, being polite just feels good.

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—Carl W. Buehner

References

Quote Investigator: Carl W. Buchner (variation misattributed to Maya Angelou)
The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a 1971 collection titled “Richard Evans’ Quote Book”. The statement was ascribed to Carl W. Buehner who was a high-level official in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

2024-06-30

Heteroflexible: Not Bi But Dabbling

I've said elsewhere in this journal that in this virtual fantasyland, with a new identity and anonymity, we are free to say or do anything we want without fear of criticism or condemnation. However, we remain irrevocably our RL mind and as such, bring into SL all of our RL baggage, our fears, our prejudices, and an unwillingness to look at the world in a way which contradicts how we live our real life. In other words, we are not ready for Second Life; we are not ready to live a new life unchained from the shackles of our Puritanical traditions.

When I first came to SL in 2010, homophobia seemed to be rampant. Gays, transgender, cross-dressers, etc. were all hiding in the closet, only occasionally peeking out to test the waters. Today, in 2024, people are much more open. I've perused a number of female profiles this year to discover the RL mind behind the curtain has clearly stated they are a man in RL. So there!

An amusing story. Over and over again, I've seen a woman's profile stating voice-verified and imagined the woman put that in her profile because she had been pestered with questions about her gender. Homophobia is alive and well. But then I saw an amusing entry in one woman's profile: How come I never see men "voice verified"?

I identify as straight, a heterosexual man. And yet, I've been intimate with a man. I see your furrowed brow; you're confused.

If you put me in front of a woman and a man, I will choose the woman 100% of the time. But under certain conditions, if the planets align or some other amusing astrological reference, I have been known to be sexual with my own gender. It's rare, but it has happened. And why not? When opportunity knocks and all that.

I have a female friend, M, who occasionally likes to have two men at once, otherwise known as MMF (Male Male Female). She likes to be the center of attention; she likes to be the filling in a manwich. The last time she found another partner, she explained me to the other man by saying, "He won't freak out if your cocks touch." — I still laugh over that. — Obviously, in an MMF situation, two men are going to come into contact with each other and while that, unto itself, isn't gay, any man has to leave any possible homophobia at the door and work as a team to focus their attention on the woman and her pleasure. I want to do my part in realizing my friend's fantasy as her pleasure is important to me. However, in these situations, there may be more. M and I once met another couple at a club, an open and liberated couple. It turned out that the man was bisexual, like really bisexual, and one night when his partner was tired and went home early, the three of us carried on with M and I putting this man in the middle. I may not be gay, but I can joke that I did rise to the occasion.

According to my research, up to 10% of the population in RL is gay. (A more recent number from Gallup pegs it at 7.1%.) In SL, the number is higher, maybe a lot higher because of guys playing girls. (Why do guys role play girls?)

Just now, I did some googling and found various studies, articles, etc. saying that homophobia has been on the rise over the past few years. Personally, I think it has always been there as political correctness seems to have been keeping it in check to a certain degree. But now that PC has become a supposed bad thing, people feel at liberty to speak out.

My point? For a long time, being gay has been not just frowned upon but condemned as immoral and unnatural. (see links below in References) Being gay meant staying in the closet. Am I bringing the wrath of God down upon my head with this article? In my posting Self-confidence: I'm know I'm good, I talk about how I see myself. I know I'm not great, but I know I'm good. How good? Kissing a man does not diminish my masculinity. As I jokingly say with a lover, getting on the bottom and letting her get on top and take over doesn't make me less of a man. At the right time, in the right situation, I can take second place, play a supporting role, and be in touch with my feminine side, all while remaining true to myself, that masculine self. I don't have to run around beating my chest and challenging everybody to arm-wrestle to supposedly prove I'm a man.

Several years ago, at a sex SIM, I had seen Alice several times, chatted, flirted, and shared some laughs. One day, I invite Alice to go ballroom dancing. In the midst of this, I open her profile and discover Alice has changed it to say she is a man, a pre-op transgender woman. She's now apprehensive about my reaction. We discuss. She wants surgery but doesn't know when she will be able to afford it. She also says that the number of IMs she got dropped considerably with her new admission and she was thinking about removing it. I ask her how she would like me to treat her. She says as a woman. So I did. We danced, chatted, flirted, and I think I may have put my hand on her bum a couple of times. In other words, we had a lovely time together. After that, I noticed she wasn't on much and sort of disappeared as many do with a busy RL.

AJ and I had a madcap affair for about six months. - The flame that burns that bright is not meant to last. - But during that time, we had many intense and wild moments. One day, she IMs to join her, and I find her with a pre-op transgender woman. (I was going to say shemale, but I've been given to understand this term is now considered offensive due to its association with the porn industry.) AJ was pleasuring Tanya and enjoyed having me there to watch. At some point, she tentatively asked if I wanted to take over, unsure of how I'm going to react. I suppose being with AJ made me braver than usual but also, I thought having her watch me would turn her on. I do so like to please my partner.

And so, as the owner of the equipment, I embarked on what I thought would be an exciting session of pleasure. It must have worked out as while we were playing in SL, Tanya confessed she, ahem, had a moment in RL. This may seem odd, but there's a certain sense of accomplishment in bringing another human being to orgasm. In any case, it was a memorable moment between the three of us but more importantly, it was another moment of bonding between AJ and myself.

A woman, in talking about her RL, told me that she and her husband had belonged to a swingers clubs over the years. She described her husband as heterosexual, but during that time, she had witnessed him being sexual with men. She called him socially bisexual. On his own, her husband would never be with a man, but during these swinger parties, he would sometimes participate with a man. Socially bisexual is heteroflexible.

I have a joke and an observation about MMF.

Question: What's better than good man?

Answer: Two good men!

The observation
Not every man can do MMF. Why? They are uncomfortable with other men. I've been involved with a number of MMF scenarios, mostly playing the non-partcipatory role of voyeur, and the other man has not been enthralled. My presence dampens their enthusiasm. It would seem that men can go along with the idea of an open relationship or polyamory, but that's out of sight, out of mind. Actually having another man in the room is not part of their fantasy. Even if their female partner is getting off on the attention of two men at once, the other guy isn't enjoying it. And so, I have learned that if a woman would like a threeway, MMF, not just any man will do. As I said above, the two men don't have to be gay but they do have to be comfortabe with their own sex. They won't freak out if their cocks touch. Ha, ha!

Final Word
In looking back at the many people I've talked to, it seems to me that many have experimented. They may identify like me as being heterosexual but have had moments with their own gender. Are some of us curious? Do some of us feel badass, breaking the rules, flaunting the law, and going against the norms? As Katie Perry sang in 2008, I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It (YouTube 3:04).

You may have noticed in my examples that any experimenting takes place in the compay of a woman. I like pleasing women; I like pleasing my partner. I guess I'm neutral about certain things, take it or leave it, but if I know my partner enjoys it, I'll do it. Old joke: I said it was weird. I didn't say I wouldn't do it.

The world is a big place with many extraordinary things. Now, if we could only leave behind our RL upbringing and look at the world in a different light, we may discover things we had no idea were interesting, amusing, and even pleasurable. As I'm fond of saying: We're all in this together.


References

my blog: Why do guys role play girls? (2,500 words, 12-minute read)
It would seem that about 10% of the population is gay. That’s RL, Real Life. In SL, Second Life, the percentage is higher, a lot higher. In fact, I don’t think I can take ten steps without running into a lesbian. What gives?

LGBT Identification in U.S. Ticks Up to 7.1%, Gallup polling
The percentage of U.S. adults who self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual has increased to a new high of 7.1%, which is double the percentage from 2012, when Gallup first measured it.

Wikipedia: Demographics of sexual orientation
In 2021, Ipsos interviewed people in 27 countries spanning all continents on their sexual orientation and gender identity... on average about 80% of people worldwide identified as heterosexual, 3% as gay, lesbian or homosexual, 4% as bisexual, 1% as pansexual or omnisexual, 1% as asexual, 1% as "other", and 11% don't know or won't say.

my blog: Your fantasy is not my fantasy, but I accept it anyway. (1,300 words, 6-minute read)
I respect that person's right to their own fantasy. I'm not into vampire, Neko, anime, wrestling, pregnancy, families with children, the list goes on but to each his own. The point is: Can you be strong enough to admit your kink damn what anybody else thinks?


The pressure to conform, to be heterosexual is enormous. We have no idea of the struggle of being A while the entire world around us is B. The following two articles discuss how the establishment, the American Psychiatric Association and other world organisations, classified homosexuality as a mental illness for the longest time. As I said, being different is not easy.

Wikipedia: Homosexuality in the DSM
Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) beginning with the first edition, published in 1952 by the American Psychiatric Association (APA). This classification was challenged by gay rights activists during the gay liberation following the 1969 Stonewall riots, and in December 1973, the APA board of trustees voted to declassify homosexuality as a mental disorder. In 1974, the DSM was updated and homosexuality was replaced with a new diagnostic code for individuals distressed by their homosexuality, termed ego-dystonic sexual orientation. Distress over one's sexual orientation remained in the manual, under different names, until the DSM-5 in 2013.

Wikipedia: Ego-dystonic sexual orientation
Ego-dystonic sexual orientation is a highly controversial mental health diagnosis that was included in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) from 1980 to 1987 (under the name ego-dystonic homosexuality) and in the World Health Organization's (WHO) International Classification of Diseases (ICD) from 1990 to 2019. Individuals could be diagnosed with ego-dystonic sexual orientation if their sexual orientation or attractions were at odds with their idealized self-image, causing anxiety and a desire to change their orientation or become more comfortable with it. It describes not innate sexual orientation itself, but a conflict between the sexual orientation a person wishes to have and their actual sexual orientation.

2024-06-18

Your fantasy is not my fantasy, but I accept it anyway.

The other day, a stranger contacted me.

[2024/06/09 08:23] TB: Hi white Superior Nigger monkey at your service if needed

I was a little startled. This certainly wasn't the type of random IM I get every day. However, I recognized the fantasy as being raceplay.

For those not in the know, interracial refers to two different races, black and white, brown and black, yellow and white, etc., while raceplay involves the superiority of one race over another, superior white and black, superior black and white, etc. I suppose the most common raceplay is QoS, Queen of Spades, involing white women and black men, but in this particular niche of raceplay, a gay black man seeks a superior white man.

I try to avoid politics in my Second Life, but admittedly, it is sometimes hard to avoid. Considering the political divide in the United States and elsewhere in the world, racism seems to have had a resurgence. Then again, I think it was always there but the growing visibility of The Right has given impetus to many to come out of the closet, so to speak, and speak their minds. Out pops this unexpected sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and just plain stupidity. Political correctness seemed to have been keeping most of this in check, but now that PC has become a supposed bad thing, people feel at liberty to speak out.

Never have so many knowing so little said so much.

But enough of that. I don't want to turn this into a political rant.

I'm not interested in raceplay. I'm certainly not interested in racism. And so, I wanted to respond in a positive manner without being in any way critical. (Note: I changed his name.)

[2024/06/09 08:25] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): A good day to you, TB. That's quite the introduction. Then again, why waste time on pleasantries?
[2024/06/09 08:26] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): I'm afraid that's not quite what I'm looking for at the moment but I certainly appreciate the offer. Good luck in your search. All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)
[2024/06/09 08:27] TB: thanks Sir !
[2024/06/09 08:27] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): /me nods respectfully in your direction
[2024/06/09 08:28] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): May all your dreams come true, and may all your fantasies be realized.
[2024/06/09 08:28] TB: oh same to you Sir i appreciate it
[2024/06/09 08:28] TB: sorry for bothering
[2024/06/09 08:29] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): No bother at all. If we don't ask, we won't get an answer. I trust you find yourself a compatible partner. It can be fun. :-)
[2024/06/09 08:30] TB: oh i like no tights in here is just for fun i guess i bet you have yours already?
[2024/06/09 08:31] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): My day is full. I'm a lucky man. Good luck to you, too.

[2024/06/09 18:15] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): 5 months old. Welcome to Second Life. You have many adventures ahead of you.
Your original request made me curious, TB, and I did some searches. Would this be of interest to you? "group: EXTREME WHITE/black Male RACEPLAY"
https://my.secondlife.com/en/groups/6edf646d-f03e-bb0b-c7e4-1f262fde98a8
I'm not sure how common "raceplay" is but the above leads me to believe it exists. As with any fantasy, the problem is finding like-minded individuals. And of course, following the SSC rule of BDSM: Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Good luck.
[2024/06/09 18:15] TB: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[23:59] TB: smiles wish you the best Sir !


Raceplay. Are you looking askance? Do you disapprove? Do you want to protest?

"There are no politically correct fantasies."
-Marilyn Minter (b 1948), American visual artist

Elsewhere on this blog, I've said that we all come to Second Life to explore this virtual fantasyland but end up exploring ourselves. In opening up those hidden recesses of our minds and bringing into the light of day our secret urges, kinks, and possibly fetishes, we have to look ourselves in the mirror and admit to liking things that in RL, we wouldn't dare to say out loud for fear of criticism, condemnation, and heck, maybe even jail time if not a stay in an institution for psychiatric observation. In other words, we could very well be scared sh*tless of being found out.

In my piece Less Critical, More Compassionate, I wrote:

Recently, I met a very nice black woman at a club. We had a charming time together and a most interesting conversation. She did, however, recount some not so agreeable times at this particular club. Apparently, not everyone is nonjudgmental and accepting, and racism exists. While she was dancing, a man IMed her out of the blue saying, "Beautiful n-".

How's that for negative feedback?

However, in the course of the discussion, the woman admitted enjoying D/s and even raceplay. She was a feminist, proudly black, pro-BLM, and anti-racism, but she did have a kink for raceplay. Can we adequately explain where our fantasies come from? But more importantly, can we accept those fantasies and enjoy them?

Fantasies can be fun, but they can be even more fun if shared with like-minded individuals. As per my rule of the three rights: At the right time, in the right place, with the right partner, anything is possible. Whether D/s, BDSM, or raceplay, we must find partners who are on the same page.

How did TB find me?
Years ago, out of curiosity, I visited a few interracial clubs specializing in BWWM (Black Woman White Men) and joined their groups. I met EM, a black woman, a charming personality, a good-looking woman, and a passionate lover. We had an intense affair for nearly two years before RL called her away. She hasn't been in-world for years but such are the vagaries of Second Life.

In looking at TB's profile, I see he's become a member of these groups, hoping, I suspect, of finding a white man. I guess he picked me hoping I'd be bisexual and possibly interested in dominating him.

Final Word
A gay black man asks a total stranger for raceplay involving a superior white. I am amazed at the huge risk this man took in contacting me. That took guts. Sure, it's Second Life and you can always TP out or block and mute, but we all can be devastated by negative reactions. I could imagine him sitting on pins and needles waiting for my response which is why I wanted to decline but in a positive supporting manner.

Your fantasy is not my fantasy but I accept your right to your fantasy. And I wish you luck in finding others who share your fantasy.

Have fun. Be safe.


Postscript 2024-06-18
I've had a few comments expressing disapproval of raceplay. I'd like to point out that this article is not specifically about raceplay but about admitting to yourself your own interest in something despite the threat of public disapproval. "There are no politically correct fantasies." Is there the possibility of abuse? By all means. If a white man told me he was into raceplay, I'd see it as racist. But when a black person tells me, I have to look at it like any other power dynamic of D/s. Abuse exists in BDSM, D/s, and heck, even in marriage (partner) and dating. I don't have to look at raceplay to see cruel people abusing others. As for raceplay itself, I'm not saying I agree with it or have any interest in it, but I respect that person's right to their own fantasy. I'm not into vampire, Neko, anime, wrestling, pregnancy, families with children, the list goes on but to each his own. The point is: Can you be strong enough to admit your kink damn what anybody else thinks?


References

Wikipedia: Race and sexuality
"Racial fetishism" is sexually fetishizing a person or culture belonging to a specific race or ethnic group.

In BDSM
There is also a practice in BDSM which involves fetishizing race called "raceplay". Susanne Schotanus defined raceplay as "a sexual practice where the either imagined or real racial background of one or more of the participants is used to create this power-imbalance in a BDSM-scene, through the use of slurs, narratives and objects laden with racial history." Feminist author Audre Lorde cautions that this kind of BDSM "operates in tandem with social, cultural, economic, and political patterns of domination and submission" creating the perpetuation of negative stereotypes for black women in particular.

However, race play can also be used within BDSM as a curative practice for black individuals to take back their autonomy from a history of subjugation. One BDSM Dominatrix explains that raceplay provides her with an "emotional sense of reparations". "Violence for black female performers in BDSM becomes not just a vehicle of intense pleasure but also a mode of accessing and critiquing power."

2024-06-12

I make mistakes. Am I man enough to admit it?

I make mistakes. And sometimes, I make a doozy and piss people off. Am I man enough to admit it? Am I man enough to learn from it?

Several years ago, I was role playing sex with MA, a woman I had recently met. In the middle of this, she stops me.

Oh, oh!

She then tells me what she didn't like. I was being too repetitive. Kiss, caress, or lick two or three times, but not a dozen times. I was also IMing too much, and she didn't feel she could get a word in edgewise.

I was mortified. I wanted to quit Second Life then and there, run into my bedroom, and hide under the bed.

Instead, I gritted my teeth and listened as she explained herself. I learned something that day. I was still embarrassed to the Nth degree, but I learned something. And then, I began to wonder: How many others had not liked what I was doing but said nothing? This woman had taken the time, kindly I might add, to speak to me, offer advice, and correct me. How many people in SL, or RL for that matter, take the time to help?

I haven't made that mistake again. As I jokingly like to say:

I don't want to make the same mistake twice; I want to move on to new mistakes.

But I also recognized something else: A woman made me a better man.

Oh, I've learned from men: my father, teachers, bosses, etc. But I've also learned from women, from my mother to teachers and, of course, lovers. I am the sum total of my experiences and the people who've helped me along the way. In this particular instance, I offer my gratitude to a woman.

Recently, I made another mistake, a doozy of a mistake. ED, a friend, invited me to be a spectator at an event but I ended up not being a silent spectator; I like to be active. This was not well received. It was not at all appreciated. I may have been able to talk with ED one on one, but I should not have spoken in local to the entire room.

ED told me my behavior embarrassed her. I fell on my sword and apologized personally to the host of the event, wanting to make sure ED was considered blameless. While ED claims I'm supposedly not persona non grata, the fact the host never responded leads me to believe I'm not going to get a warm welcome back.

I told ED she can unfriend me if she wants; no hard feelings, but she replied, "No need to do that." However, I'm sure this has irrevocably changed our friendship. Trust is hard to get, easy to lose, and difficult if not impossible to regain.

Final Word
Years later, MA and I remain friends but we have never seen each other since. Every Christmas, she sends me a card. I'm sure we'll never see each other again as we travel in different circles, and I see she's rarely on these days.

Go and sin no more. I'm sure this won't be the last time I commit a faux pas. As the old joke goes I only open my mouth to change feet. The odd or funny part of life is that by the time we figure everything all out, it's time for us to die.

Years ago, I read that the author Stephen King did not like the author James Patterson. In an interview in TIME magazine, Patterson responded by saying, "There are thousands of people who don't like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do."

I once saw an estimate that Second Life has 800,000 active monthly users.

A few years ago, I met someone, had a nice chat, and they friended me. Sometime later, I discovered she had unfriended me. Nothing odd about that; cleaning your friends list happens all the time. I saw her at a SIM and said hello but discovered she had blocked me. What? I had no idea what I could have done that warranted blocking me but I shrugged and said, "Oh well, now I only have 799,999 people to talk to."

Postscript 2024-06-15
ED contacted me yesterday to say hello. She contacted me again today, adding she didn't want any bad bood between us. I told her it was very generous of her, mentioning I was still embarrassed and sulking. She said everybody involved had moved on. We chatted a bit; it was pleasant. It would seem everything has gone back to normal. This is where I shrug. I made a mistake. How long am I required to beat myself over it? Once again, I compliment ED for making the first move in smoothing things over. She's a nice person. I'm an idiot. Ha, ha, ha!

Postscript 2024-07-18
Years ago, RL and I met, seemed to hit it off, and were intimate. She didn't see me again. Something went wrong but I never knew exactly what. The episode with MA above seemed to clarify that for me. Sometimes my enthusiasm may not be good role play for somebody else, and that person does not takes the time to say anything, just going into the night never to be seen again.

Recently, I saw RD at a club and said hello. The exchange was brief but polite when she suddenly left. I said good-bye but got no response. She hasn't fogotten. I always use the Notes section of a profile to track tidbits about the individual, date we met, where we met, things about the personality and our chat. I did not note this quesitonable incident in RD's profile but I've now added to not contact her again. Some things can be repaired. Sometimes you get a second chance. And sometimes, the best course of action is to leave it alone and never touch it again. Now, I only have 799,998 people to talk to.

Postscript 2024-08-08
ED changes her name to hyphenate it with what I assume is the name of her new Dominant. I tell her congratulations and she is quite warm in her response. Three days later, I see she's changed her name back and I message, "It's none of my business, but I hope you're okay." She replies that she's okay but it is none of my business. O-kay. Let's leave that one alone.

Today, I just noticed she unfriended me. I can't say I'm surprised. I did have an afterthought about all the above. People who seem to be mature, stable personalities seem to be more compassionate than critical. They forgive. Others may lean toward drama, that eternal problem mentioned in countless profiles. As I jokingly said above: Oh well, now I only have 799,999 people to talk to. But I still hope ED is okay, and that she finds happiness and ends up at peace with herself and the rest of the world.


References

My Love-Hate Relationship With Second Life - Dec 20/2023
I love it. I hate it. It's complicated.

Second Life: Still interesting after all these years?- Nov 16/2023
Why keep coming back? What the heck is the point of playing a game?

2024-06-11