For a number of years now, I've had one foot out the door. Why? I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day.
I feel guilty.
I have a number of projects going on in RL and rather than put my nose to the grindstone and do them, I let myself get distracted. But it's not just Second Life but all social media. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, I have wasted countless hours reading postings, posting my own amusements or political rants, and watching whatever random stuff YouTube has given me in my feed. The word Time Suck accurately describes this mindless gorging myself on questionable entertainment, lazily clicking over and over again on the next shiny bauble that crosses my path. I have no plan. I have no goal. I am just wasting time. I'm being lazy.
I feel stupid.
I'm playing a video game, and I'm not out in real life doing stuff. I know people who think video games are stupid, who are out in the world working, playing, travelling, attending sports events, having evenings out for the movies or live theater, etc. I know people who do play video games, so-called gamers, who've played Second Life and given it up because it's not interesting to them as compared to such notables as World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons.
I feel bored.
I've been here for over 13 years. What else is there to do? I'm fond of the idea that you get out of relationship what you put into the relationship. Is that idea applicable to my relationship with this virtual fantasyland?
In my blog Second Life: Still interesting after all these years?, I wrote:
I admit that my interest in Second Life has waned over the years. I'm not a builder so the creative side of SL doesn't really interest me. I've never taken much interest in the more technical side of the platform and consequently, my photographic skills are basic at best. I did try a premium for a while and decked out a Linden Home but got bored with decorating and dropped premium. I don't log in on a regular basis as I like to say: RL is a busy but that's a good thing.
But then I say that the biggest reason, maybe the only reason I log in, is the people. Meeting them, chatting with them, hearing their stories with all the variations, problems, sometimes catastrophes but also wonderful things.
SL is unique
In the above article, I point out that SL offers a unique environment for meeting people. You can go from zero to a hundred in no time flat. That is, due to the protection of anonymity and the comfort which comes from it, people are willing to discuss personal matters that in RL, they would never discuss or would only discuss after developing a trust. I suppose one could argue that any social media platform offers some sort of buffer from other people, giving a possibly false sense of protection, but in my opinion, SL does offer an environment where we are all free to discuss any intimate detail of our lives. The virtual psychiatric couch? Ha, ha!
SL gave me the idea to write
Like everyone, I started with IM chat. But then I ran across somebody who had a blog. A blog? What the heck was that? Could I do it?
I did and discovered I could write my thoughts down and people would read them. Maybe not a lot of people. Heck, sometimes nobody at all read. But the point was, I wrote something, and that gave me a sense of accomplishment.
Thirteen years later, where am I? Well, for one, you're reading this blog. It's not the original one I first tried in 2010 but it does follow the same idea: me shooting my mouth off. But I have tried other writing elsewhere. I'll not be winning any awards any time soon but I have, at times, had that sense of accomplishment. The odd part of the story, as I said, is that it was Second Life which first gave me the idea to even try writing.
Outside of SL
This blog is but one effort on my part to supplement my SL. My photographic skills are horrible, having never taken the time to learn the finer points of taking pictures. Nevertheless, I have at times published pictures, either my own or created my own memes, on some of the picture platforms. Unfortunately, Flickr changed its rules back in 2022, restricting the scandalous factor for free accounts, so I dropped it. The platform newTumbl closed down in June 2023 so once again, I lost several pictures collections. It's because of these losses I have been hesitant to start on another platform out of fear of seeing all my work disappear again. Oddly enough, the Google blogger platform continues with no sign of ever closing down. Twitter, too, continues unabated. However, both blogger and Twitter are not really designed as image platforms and don't necessarily allow the best presentation of photo collections. What to do? Once again, do I want to invest my time and effort into something which is of questionable value (Who bothers to look at my sh*t?) and more importantly, run the risk of losing everything?
I may be wrong, but my impression is that the majority of people in-world are unaware of The Feed. What is it? When you take a picture, you have the option of publishing the image to The Feed. I could describe it as something like the continuous, real-time scrolling of Twitter or Facebook, with new material being presented all the time. The only reason I discovered this is because I log into the SL web site on a regular basis (I've got it bookmarked.) in order to see which of my friends may be online at a given moment. It is through the web site that The Feed seems to be more readily accessible.
Once again, it would seem that most people are unaware that pictures in the Feed can be presented as a gallery. Note the following link which is the URL for my profile on Second Life:
https://my.secondlife.com/hughtoussaint
Now notice this variation of that URL:
https://my.secondlife.com/hughtoussaint/snapshots
This gives you a gallery-like presentation of pictures I've posted in my Feed. You can add snapshots to the URL of any profile and see the gallery. It's surprising. Many people go to Flickr or DeviantART to publish their pictures but Second Life itself already has its own picture system. We can argue about its quality and its organisation but it is there.
Final Word
Should I stay, or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble.
And if I stay, it will be double.
So come on and let me know.
-The Clash (1982)
As I said at the beginning, a psychologist would have a field day. Love, hate, hot, cold, for, against, I need to make my mind up once and for all. And let me add that it's not what anybody thinks of what I'm doing, it's what I think of what I'm doing.
Part of this, I realise, is merely me debating with myself what I want to do with my life. — Whoa! Talk about some deep philosophical discussion about the meaning of existence! Ha, ha! — To paraphrase an old joke about work, is my tombstone going to have engraved on it, I wish I had played Second Life more?
It is said that water seeks its own level. I must seek mine. Inside SL. Outside SL. An amalgamation of the two. One augmenting the other. I must figure it out for myself.
In the meantime, my enthusiastic call to arms: Par-tee! Par-tee!
References
Wikipedia: Love–hate relationship
A love–hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and hate—something particularly common when emotions are intense. The term is used frequently in psychology, popular writing and journalism. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts, as well as those of a romantic nature or between siblings and parents/children.
Wiktionary: go from 0 to 100
To shift from being nearly non-existent to being very obvious and plain. To increase explosively in intensity.
YouTube: The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go (Official Video) (3:09)
Published by the Clash, Aug 13/2012
2023-12-20
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