I put together the above meme to summarize a good day for me. While sex isn't everything, sex is an important part of our lives. Years ago, I calculated that percentagewise, if we looked at our lives, work, sleep, play, etc., probably sex only takes up 1% of the overall time. And yet, as I suggested, it is an important part of our lives. If sex is going well, everything else seems to fall into place. Sure, we have problems, but the load seems a little lighter if this part of our lives is satisfying.
But let me clarify. When I said 1%, I was referring to the actual act of sex. (Your mileage may vary.) In our lives, there is intimacy, secondary sex, if you will. Kissing, hugging, a wink, or a flirtatious remark whether verbally or written (email, IM).
“Erotic couples understand that foreplay is not something you do 5 minutes before sex begins.
Foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm.”
–Esther Perel (b 1958), Belgian psychotherapist
Foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm.”
–Esther Perel (b 1958), Belgian psychotherapist
Years ago, I had a job where I had to take the subway to work around 8:30 am. On the platform, there was an advertisement for a women's clothing line, a woman in a business outfit, sophisticated, classy, not at all revealing. She stood with her back to the camera, her head turned, looking at me. I found this quite seductive, the promise of unspoken potential passion. It gave me a tingle, and I quite enjoyed that charge before stepping on the train for my thirty minute ride to the office. As I said above, it reminded me that I was alive.
The term Edging refers to prolonging sexual pleasure by postponing your orgasm. Instead of cumming and moving on to post-sex relaxation, you remain in a state of sexual tension. It is said that when you finally do have an orgasm, your release will be that much more intense. The lesson is to not always rush to completion but to prolong and intensify your experience by enjoying the ride. Old Chinese prover: The journey is the reward. Yes, an orgasm is good, but getting there can also be fun.
Edging as such is the deliberate act of avoiding orgasm. What I'm talking about here is something more subtle. An erotic photo, a naughty thought, or flirting is not overtly sexual as may be the case in edging, but can still have an effect on us even if we may not be fully aware of the underlying sexual nature of the stimulus. I would say the proper word is probably anticipation. Does our body release hormones, starting the process of preparing itself for the possibility of sex? That may seem ridiculous but I would compare it to a myriad of other experiences where we have a natural and involuntary reaction. We see a good piece of food and our mouth waters. We see a scary insect and we flinch. We see a child playing and we smile. What I'm contending here is that we may also have an involuntary response to things of a sexual nature but sexual in a more subtle fashion.
The other day, in SL, I visited a club which will remain nameless. There was music, dancing, and the opportunity to meet other people. There was anticipation in the air. All those people represented a potential moment of passion. I also knew the furniture included sex animations. It was an atmosphere of possibilities. I couldn't help feeling the entire place had a certain vibe to it which gave me a tingle. I couldn't say there was anything specific, but I did feel an expectation of something exciting about to happen. Now something exciting does not happen all the time. Many times, nothing happens and I never talk to anybody, spending my time reading profiles. Nevertheless, there seemed to be an electrical charge in the air as if, at any moment, I was going to walk right into the next big thing.
Now, I'm sure anyone would chuckle at such a description. While this is SL, go to any nightclub in RL and you can have exactly the same feeling. My point is that this sense of anticipation could very well be interpreted as sexual arousal, maybe not as explicit as other things, but I can't help feeling our bodies are reacting in pretty much the same way.
Inara Pey is an extraordinarily prolific SL blogger. - If you don't know her work, she is a must-read. (https://modemworld.me/) - In one of her latest pieces, Of Angels in Pain in Second Life (July 5/2024), Ms. Pey visits Angel of Pain (SURL), a BDSM playground of Susann DeCuir, providing both narrative and pictures of this remarkable and extensive full Region. The following picture comes from one of my visits to the area.
I visited the area and snapped a few pics. I saw erotic sculptures. I discovered furniture with sex animations. I saw erotic art. While I was alone and never engaged in anything sexual, I was surrounded by a sexual element and admittedly felt a tingle.
It's my job to have a tingle
I'm sure some of you will be amused by my idea of a tingle, but it occurred to me that some have turned this into a career.
Helmut Newton (1920–2004) was a German-Australian photographer. The New York Times described him as a "prolific, widely imitated fashion photographer whose provocative, erotically charged black-and-white photos were a mainstay of Vogue and other publications." -Wikipedia
Newton was a prolific photographer of fashion, mostly in black and white, a style, which in my view, does have an erotic tone to it. A look at his opus (Google image search) will show you what I mean. It strikes me that here was man who's very job centered around a tingle, working with fashion models and creating sexy shots.
Luis Royo (born 1954) is a Spanish artist. He is best known for his fantasy illustrations published in numerous art books, magazines such as Heavy Metal and various other media including book and music CD covers, video games and Tarot cards. -Wikipedia
Royo has created in the domain of comics an oeuvre of erotically charged images and story lines. (Google image search. One of my favourite images: The Blue Prince 07 from Prohibited Book II, an erotic retelling of Beauty and the Beast..) Once again, here's a man who's very work centers around the creation of a tingle.
What does science say about this?
Being forever curious, I looked up some scholarly articles on the question of sexual arousal. From WebMD: Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness.
Final Word
I have joked with a few people I know, responding to an erotic picture they've posted, that I was officially awarding them my Tingle of the Day, sending them the meme I created above. I'm not doing anything sexual, but they are reminding me of something sexual, giving me the promise of possible things to come.
I amusingly titled this article a constant state of arousal, speculating that this tingle I'm talking about is, in some way, a mild form of sexual arousal. Sex sells, as they say, and whether we realize it or not, our bodies are involuntarily reacting to stimuli all around us.
I know this sounds a little crazy, but I'm suspicious the very act of logging into Second Life gives us a tingle, sparking our imaginations and giving us a sense of anticipation about the wonders which may await us. As I said above, it reminds us that we are alive.
References
WebMD: What is Edging in Sex?
Edging is a method of stretching out how long it takes to reach orgasm during sex. Partners learn to communicate and stop sexual stimulation before orgasm. They can explore other ways to touch one another, allowing themselves to cool down before continuing. This not only delays climax but can make orgasms more intense when they finally happen.
WebMD: 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex
Sex not only feels good. It can also be good for you. Here’s what a healthy sex life can do for you.
1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming
2. Boosts Your Libido
3. Improves Women's Bladder Control
4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure
5. Counts as Exercise
6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk
7. Lessens Pain
8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely
9. Improves Sleep
10. Eases Stress
my blog: I'm a man. Feb 17/2022
I like to say that I'm a man of passion: passion in work, passion in play, passion in living, and of course, passion in love... and lust... passion makes the world go ‘round... passion makes life worth living.
2024-07-12
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