Wanna f*ck? - Being polite: It's free and adds nothing to the overall cost.

My online persona is that of a gentleman: suit and tie, polite and respectful, and when I meet people for the first time, I address them as Mr. Last Name for men, and Ms. Last Name for women. At some point, a man or a woman asks me to call them by their first name. I explain that Mom always taught me to first be polite and wait for the individual to tell me how they would like to be addressed, adding, "I can't very well go against Mom, now, can I?" I'm trying to be affable to set people at ease. This isn't a contest; we're all in this together.

I contrast this with what I've already written about: The man who walks around with his junk out asking every woman he meets, "Wanna f*ck?" My joke for you ladies: When asked if you "wanna f*ck?", you reply, "Yes, just not with you." I think remaining calm and responding with humour is the best way to deflate an aggressive come on.

I thought to write again about this because I've met a number of strangers recently who were - How do I put this? - surprised I was polite. Surprised? Just who the heck have you been talking to? One woman said it was refreshing to talk to a gentleman, and when I jokingly asked, "Am I?" she replied, In SL terms you are already a gentleman cause you didn't say "wanna fuck."

Good Lord! As I jokingly say, It's not that I'm so good, it's that everybody else is so bad.

Over and over, people have repeated in their profiles that there is a real live human being behind every avatar, and we should all treat them with the same respect we would treat anybody in RL. And yet, judging by the stories I've heard, this doesn't seem to be going on. I suppose one could argue there's a certain distance from people in SL or any social media, for that matter, and that distance may give a person a certain liberty to act more aggressively than they normally do. If you're standing right in front of somebody in RL, unless you're drunk or like to live dangerously, you're probably not going to tell a stranger to F.O. out of fear of getting punched in the nose.

I have to chuckle at the above meme. I think we all want to be sexual; we just disagree on how to get there. Years ago, I visited the most scandalous of sex SIMs "Nadine's Dirty Fuckbunker (SURL)". The name says it all, doesn't it? It's obscene. It's about sex, more sex, and nothing but sex. Oh, did I mention sex? I started to chat with a woman standing to one side. At some point, she complained about a guy who asked her if she wanted to f*ck. Considering where we were, I found this amusing. If you're standing at Frank's Ballroom, one would expect to be asked to dance. If you're standing at Nadine's, the question didn't strike me as out of place.

But it did make me think that even in the most depraved of locales, this woman still wanted to be wooed. There has to be some sort of role play, some sort of back and forth, some interesting chat to engage the mind and make the imagination soar. I suppose any of us, man or woman, could show up in a fit of horniness where we want to just go at it, but since this is a virtual fantasyland, that is, we never actually physically touch, engaging the mind is of the utmost importance. I said the woman wanted to be wooed, but let me rephrase that by saying we all want to be wooed. Yes, we want to f*ck, but we want to do so with style.

The following animated GIF amusingly sums up the reality of us playing in Second Life, this virtual fantasyland.

As I said above, we never physically touch therefore, we must engage the mind. In my piece I Never Touch You, I talk about engaging the mind by asking two questions.

Can you arouse your partner without touching them?

Obviously, we're not talking about their genitals but about their biggest sexual organ their brain. If that's stimulated, will everything fall into place? And if you think you could successfully answer the above question, I will add a second question:

Could you make your partner cum without touching them?

In my article, I'm talking about Second Life, about playing within the context of this virtual fantasyland. But let me point out that this idea is very much applicable to real life. In fact, in any relationship, whether SL and RL, sex isn't just about sex; sex is about engaging the mind.

I've seen a number of couples posting erotic pictures, writing erotica, flirting back and forth, as part of their daily lives. They attempt to engage one another to keep the love and lust alive. We all deserve a tingle, and I would go so far as to say tingles are an important part of remaining active, being engaged, and heck, feeling alive!

I like to say: At the right time, in the right place, with the right partner, anything is possible. I love the following meme, being a polite gentleman but with a hint of danger. We all want to end up in the same place but can we get there in style? Old Chinese saying: The journey is the reward.

Final Word
My experience is that people may at first be startled by my politeness but they do love it. Reap what you sow. Be nice and you get nice back. As I like to joke: If somebody is an a-hole in SL, more than likely, they're an a-hole in RL. In SL, I'm basically playing myself. I'm not a vampire, Neko, or part of Gor; I'm just being me. I am polite in RL so SL being an extension of my real self, I'm polite here as well. I don't think you can go wrong. Besides, being polite just feels good.

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—Carl W. Buehner

References

Quote Investigator: Carl W. Buchner (variation misattributed to Maya Angelou)
The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a 1971 collection titled “Richard Evans’ Quote Book”. The statement was ascribed to Carl W. Buehner who was a high-level official in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

2024-06-30