Your fantasy is not my fantasy, but I accept it anyway.

The other day, a stranger contacted me.

[2024/06/09 08:23] TB: Hi white Superior Nigger monkey at your service if needed

I was a little startled. This certainly wasn't the type of random IM I get every day. However, I recognized the fantasy as being raceplay.

For those not in the know, interracial refers to two different races, black and white, brown and black, yellow and white, etc., while raceplay involves the superiority of one race over another, superior white and black, superior black and white, etc. I suppose the most common raceplay is QoS, Queen of Spades, involing white women and black men, but in this particular niche of raceplay, a gay black man seeks a superior white man.

I try to avoid politics in my Second Life, but admittedly, it is sometimes hard to avoid. Considering the political divide in the United States and elsewhere in the world, racism seems to have had a resurgence. Then again, I think it was always there but the growing visibility of The Right has given impetus to many to come out of the closet, so to speak, and speak their minds. Out pops this unexpected sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and just plain stupidity. Political correctness seemed to have been keeping most of this in check, but now that PC has become a supposed bad thing, people feel at liberty to speak out.

Never have so many knowing so little said so much.

But enough of that. I don't want to turn this into a political rant.

I'm not interested in raceplay. I'm certainly not interested in racism. And so, I wanted to respond in a positive manner without being in any way critical. (Note: I changed his name.)

[2024/06/09 08:25] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): A good day to you, TB. That's quite the introduction. Then again, why waste time on pleasantries?
[2024/06/09 08:26] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): I'm afraid that's not quite what I'm looking for at the moment but I certainly appreciate the offer. Good luck in your search. All the best to you in your worlds (plural: SL & RL). :-)
[2024/06/09 08:27] TB: thanks Sir !
[2024/06/09 08:27] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): /me nods respectfully in your direction
[2024/06/09 08:28] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): May all your dreams come true, and may all your fantasies be realized.
[2024/06/09 08:28] TB: oh same to you Sir i appreciate it
[2024/06/09 08:28] TB: sorry for bothering
[2024/06/09 08:29] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): No bother at all. If we don't ask, we won't get an answer. I trust you find yourself a compatible partner. It can be fun. :-)
[2024/06/09 08:30] TB: oh i like no tights in here is just for fun i guess i bet you have yours already?
[2024/06/09 08:31] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): My day is full. I'm a lucky man. Good luck to you, too.

[2024/06/09 18:15] Hugh Toussaint (hughtoussaint): 5 months old. Welcome to Second Life. You have many adventures ahead of you.
Your original request made me curious, TB, and I did some searches. Would this be of interest to you? "group: EXTREME WHITE/black Male RACEPLAY"
https://my.secondlife.com/en/groups/6edf646d-f03e-bb0b-c7e4-1f262fde98a8
I'm not sure how common "raceplay" is but the above leads me to believe it exists. As with any fantasy, the problem is finding like-minded individuals. And of course, following the SSC rule of BDSM: Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Good luck.
[2024/06/09 18:15] TB: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[23:59] TB: smiles wish you the best Sir !


Raceplay. Are you looking askance? Do you disapprove? Do you want to protest?

"There are no politically correct fantasies."
-Marilyn Minter (b 1948), American visual artist

Elsewhere on this blog, I've said that we all come to Second Life to explore this virtual fantasyland but end up exploring ourselves. In opening up those hidden recesses of our minds and bringing into the light of day our secret urges, kinks, and possibly fetishes, we have to look ourselves in the mirror and admit to liking things that in RL, we wouldn't dare to say out loud for fear of criticism, condemnation, and heck, maybe even jail time if not a stay in an institution for psychiatric observation. In other words, we could very well be scared sh*tless of being found out.

In my piece Less Critical, More Compassionate, I wrote:

Recently, I met a very nice black woman at a club. We had a charming time together and a most interesting conversation. She did, however, recount some not so agreeable times at this particular club. Apparently, not everyone is nonjudgmental and accepting, and racism exists. While she was dancing, a man IMed her out of the blue saying, "Beautiful n-".

How's that for negative feedback?

However, in the course of the discussion, the woman admitted enjoying D/s and even raceplay. She was a feminist, proudly black, pro-BLM, and anti-racism, but she did have a kink for raceplay. Can we adequately explain where our fantasies come from? But more importantly, can we accept those fantasies and enjoy them?

Fantasies can be fun, but they can be even more fun if shared with like-minded individuals. As per my rule of the three rights: At the right time, in the right place, with the right partner, anything is possible. Whether D/s, BDSM, or raceplay, we must find partners who are on the same page.

How did TB find me?
Years ago, out of curiosity, I visited a few interracial clubs specializing in BWWM (Black Woman White Men) and joined their groups. I met EM, a black woman, a charming personality, a good-looking woman, and a passionate lover. We had an intense affair for nearly two years before RL called her away. She hasn't been in-world for years but such are the vagaries of Second Life.

In looking at TB's profile, I see he's become a member of these groups, hoping, I suspect, of finding a white man. I guess he picked me hoping I'd be bisexual and possibly interested in dominating him.

Final Word
A gay black man asks a total stranger for raceplay involving a superior white. I am amazed at the huge risk this man took in contacting me. That took guts. Sure, it's Second Life and you can always TP out or block and mute, but we all can be devastated by negative reactions. I could imagine him sitting on pins and needles waiting for my response which is why I wanted to decline but in a positive supporting manner.

Your fantasy is not my fantasy but I accept your right to your fantasy. And I wish you luck in finding others who share your fantasy.

Have fun. Be safe.


Postscript 2024-06-18
I've had a few comments expressing disapproval of raceplay. I'd like to point out that this article is not specifically about raceplay but about admitting to yourself your own interest in something despite the threat of public disapproval. "There are no politically correct fantasies." Is there the possibility of abuse? By all means. If a white man told me he was into raceplay, I'd see it as racist. But when a black person tells me, I have to look at it like any other power dynamic of D/s. Abuse exists in BDSM, D/s, and heck, even in marriage (partner) and dating. I don't have to look at raceplay to see cruel people abusing others. As for raceplay itself, I'm not saying I agree with it or have any interest in it, but I respect that person's right to their own fantasy. I'm not into vampire, Neko, anime, wrestling, pregnancy, families with children, the list goes on but to each his own. The point is: Can you be strong enough to admit your kink damn what anybody else thinks?


References

Wikipedia: Race and sexuality
"Racial fetishism" is sexually fetishizing a person or culture belonging to a specific race or ethnic group.

In BDSM
There is also a practice in BDSM which involves fetishizing race called "raceplay". Susanne Schotanus defined raceplay as "a sexual practice where the either imagined or real racial background of one or more of the participants is used to create this power-imbalance in a BDSM-scene, through the use of slurs, narratives and objects laden with racial history." Feminist author Audre Lorde cautions that this kind of BDSM "operates in tandem with social, cultural, economic, and political patterns of domination and submission" creating the perpetuation of negative stereotypes for black women in particular.

However, race play can also be used within BDSM as a curative practice for black individuals to take back their autonomy from a history of subjugation. One BDSM Dominatrix explains that raceplay provides her with an "emotional sense of reparations". "Violence for black female performers in BDSM becomes not just a vehicle of intense pleasure but also a mode of accessing and critiquing power."

2024-06-12